This is only morning time but I received two bad news.
The first one, my scheduled interview with my lecturer for our course assignment had to be cancelled because my group partner was involved in a car accident. (luckily he was safe and sound)
So, when I went to email to check my conversation with my lecturer, and
I found this email from NW uni....
And of course I am being rejected.
To be frank, the few months I spent writing my college essays were really hectic, and tension was always my loyal friend.
I don't think I wrote competent essays, and this feeling of missing out the most decisive moment in life really sucks.
That's why I treat my current courses super-seriously because I don't want to feel like not giving 100% and blaming myself for that later.
(Well, I did put a lot of effort last year into uni application, but maybe the determination and confidence to get into uni just aren't strong enough, plus my credentials are a disadvantage, so I could brace myself for what is going to come in the next few weeks)...
Don't feel like talking about this to any friend except for my gang here in ADP
(especially when all decisions are out)
I think they will probably shrug it off, since they are all going to do transfer anyway.
I know people will give consolation such as, you've done your best, and these decisions are not the end of the world...
Yeah but in the short term rejections purely mean that you've screwed up the applications and you are the one solely responsible for that.
Recognizing this actually makes one feel better.
Think of it, if I really have to do transfer, then I only have around 10 months left to achieve improvement, especially the eloquence in English writing and the maturity of ideas.
2014年3月19日星期三
从何说起
最近的心情时好时坏啦
不过很幸运的有很多死党陪着
有吃饭党，有花痴党，有废话党等等
朋友真的炒鸡重要啊
还好我分布在社交、读书和睡觉的时间算是平衡
社交的部分少了一点点
对付出时间比较吝啬
一直觉得自己做的不够
时时刻刻提醒自己FINALS有多么难
尤其当一个学期要应付5个科目（虽然有两个是可以混的）
应该要尽全力去努力
这样即使多么不如意也不会觉得对不起自己（会委屈？）
至于期待，这是个可以让生活灿烂也可以让生活惨淡的词
平淡才是最好的态度
不管是对学业，还是对感情
本来有满腹的话想说
可是等时间过去了又觉得没有抱怨的必要
报告超多的，都想要挂掉了
没什么好更新的
然后我还喜欢上我的同学
结果我朋友帮我查他的时间表
哈哈～我即使掌握了他的行踪也懒的去制造偶遇吧
人家欣赏你，早就会很明显的表现出来
有些事情需要双方的回应
所以还是别自个儿傻傻的去扑空
不过很幸运的有很多死党陪着
有吃饭党，有花痴党，有废话党等等
朋友真的炒鸡重要啊
还好我分布在社交、读书和睡觉的时间算是平衡
社交的部分少了一点点
对付出时间比较吝啬
一直觉得自己做的不够
时时刻刻提醒自己FINALS有多么难
尤其当一个学期要应付5个科目（虽然有两个是可以混的）
应该要尽全力去努力
这样即使多么不如意也不会觉得对不起自己（会委屈？）
至于期待，这是个可以让生活灿烂也可以让生活惨淡的词
平淡才是最好的态度
不管是对学业，还是对感情
本来有满腹的话想说
可是等时间过去了又觉得没有抱怨的必要
报告超多的，都想要挂掉了
没什么好更新的
然后我还喜欢上我的同学
结果我朋友帮我查他的时间表
哈哈～我即使掌握了他的行踪也懒的去制造偶遇吧
人家欣赏你，早就会很明显的表现出来
有些事情需要双方的回应
所以还是别自个儿傻傻的去扑空
2014年3月17日星期一
Defamation
Well, well.
I didn't expect a student so popular and seemed poised to be a leader could do such a thing to my lecturer.
Although I personally do not agree with everything she teaches us, including some bahasa grammar which I am pretty good in, but please give facts and not lies when you want to debate something.
You could well address the fact that her teaching is more exam-orientated and does not really help in improving a student's language proficiency.
But put yourself in her shoes, what could you do better?
It's very hard to teach students with different levels of language proficiency.
If you always come late to class, then perhaps you are not qualified to give any comments though your thoughts might be sound and true.
She isn't 'not teaching' okay.
And I thought based on what you told us privately, you wanted to reflect the fact that it might be hard for some students to learn under this lecturer. (Plus she doesn't explain concisely for better understanding sometimes. Coz the LEVELS OF STUDENTS ARE DIFFERENT!)
Couldn't you just phrase everything nicely?
I really thought that you wanted to help some of our classmates who are struggling to pass this subject. When I first mentioned about long term solutions, you said that the most important thing is for us to tackle the current learning problem.
What you have done is not a solution at all.
Might as well never do it.
Bring real change, not defamation.
I didn't expect a student so popular and seemed poised to be a leader could do such a thing to my lecturer.
Although I personally do not agree with everything she teaches us, including some bahasa grammar which I am pretty good in, but please give facts and not lies when you want to debate something.
You could well address the fact that her teaching is more exam-orientated and does not really help in improving a student's language proficiency.
But put yourself in her shoes, what could you do better?
It's very hard to teach students with different levels of language proficiency.
If you always come late to class, then perhaps you are not qualified to give any comments though your thoughts might be sound and true.
She isn't 'not teaching' okay.
And I thought based on what you told us privately, you wanted to reflect the fact that it might be hard for some students to learn under this lecturer. (Plus she doesn't explain concisely for better understanding sometimes. Coz the LEVELS OF STUDENTS ARE DIFFERENT!)
Couldn't you just phrase everything nicely?
I really thought that you wanted to help some of our classmates who are struggling to pass this subject. When I first mentioned about long term solutions, you said that the most important thing is for us to tackle the current learning problem.
What you have done is not a solution at all.
Might as well never do it.
Bring real change, not defamation.
2014年3月16日星期日
混乱星期日
UMich又发电邮来提醒我，我的申请不被过目，好像是个人资料提交问题= =！
不是都交齐了么哼！
等下他们那里一天亮我就要马上去质问他们了
现在要忙学会的招生表演、数学测验、BM报告等等等
刚刚去bengkel praktikal脚软回家
我觉得我还是不要驾驶比较好，虽然上手很快，但是我很粗心
天阴下雨，一切烦躁的事情也迎面而来
要挺住呀啊
沉住气的一个一个解决掉切勿毛躁
再怎么糟糕也不会糟到哪里去的
顶多不是丢了一些、少了一些东西而已
总会失而复得的
（尤其是针对大学申请，一直很担忧最糟糕的情况来临，不过何必折磨自己呢。即使最后要transfer，也没很差呀，至少还能和我的狐朋狗友混个一年）
数学测验完毕后就是交响乐团的招生活动
这次有点经验，让组员们上台表演
而我们的booth不需要太花俏 :)
把2月用过的布置再拿出来看看能不能利用
星期二就可以看到A同学啦！
你的笑容是对我最大的鼓舞！
天色暗了，是时候回去做事了……
不是都交齐了么哼！
等下他们那里一天亮我就要马上去质问他们了
现在要忙学会的招生表演、数学测验、BM报告等等等
刚刚去bengkel praktikal脚软回家
我觉得我还是不要驾驶比较好，虽然上手很快，但是我很粗心
天阴下雨，一切烦躁的事情也迎面而来
要挺住呀啊
沉住气的一个一个解决掉切勿毛躁
再怎么糟糕也不会糟到哪里去的
顶多不是丢了一些、少了一些东西而已
总会失而复得的
（尤其是针对大学申请，一直很担忧最糟糕的情况来临，不过何必折磨自己呢。即使最后要transfer，也没很差呀，至少还能和我的狐朋狗友混个一年）
数学测验完毕后就是交响乐团的招生活动
这次有点经验，让组员们上台表演
而我们的booth不需要太花俏 :)
把2月用过的布置再拿出来看看能不能利用
星期二就可以看到A同学啦！
你的笑容是对我最大的鼓舞！
天色暗了，是时候回去做事了……
2014年3月15日星期六
Fell for a friend?
Who is not even considered as a really close friend...
I am always very slow to know my feelings...
And it was one class after that fateful day that I started to see him in a different perspective.
I have zero resistance to people that are more intelligent than me,
And perhaps that day it was his one question that had me falling for him...
Not gonna reveal that question though lol
I like his eyes. And the way he slightly lowers his head when he asked that question was too much for my weak heart...
Didn't reveal much about him here,
but I still find it very mushy...
I'm not used to writing my feelings directly
Maybe it is the weather that makes me a bit abnormal
[ field trip ]
Went for a field trip with my friends for half day and luckily the haze cleared off as if to smoothen outright outing. We visited the Selangor Islamic arts complex and admired some expensive art pieces there...
Sadly all of us were too focused on not getting lost and also finding lunch that we forgot to take some group selfies...
But I guess that isn't important, as long as we had a really good time...
We don't need to show off right.
I am always very slow to know my feelings...
And it was one class after that fateful day that I started to see him in a different perspective.
I have zero resistance to people that are more intelligent than me,
And perhaps that day it was his one question that had me falling for him...
Not gonna reveal that question though lol
I like his eyes. And the way he slightly lowers his head when he asked that question was too much for my weak heart...
Didn't reveal much about him here,
but I still find it very mushy...
I'm not used to writing my feelings directly
Maybe it is the weather that makes me a bit abnormal
[ field trip ]
Went for a field trip with my friends for half day and luckily the haze cleared off as if to smoothen outright outing. We visited the Selangor Islamic arts complex and admired some expensive art pieces there...
Sadly all of us were too focused on not getting lost and also finding lunch that we forgot to take some group selfies...
But I guess that isn't important, as long as we had a really good time...
We don't need to show off right.
2014年3月14日星期五
烟霾，以及迷蒙中的美丽意外
别问我标题是什么意思，就如村上的《世界尽头与冷酷仙境》，其实不过是语感美而已。
今天的烟霾很严重，我已经戴口罩去上课……
在炎热天气下转车到campus，结果吃午饭的时候得知下午的课全取消
我今天本来就是为了一小时的课特地出门的
现在竟然取消掉
API差不多200了吧
话说很多人都把口罩有颜色的一面戴在外
我很疑惑，白色那面是filter，现在你要避环境的污染分子，当然要把白色戴在外头呀！
除非是你生病不想传染其他人，那你就可以把青色那面戴在外
不去理解真正的戴法，戴到窒息最后也只是徒劳
下星期是我们这一batch学生的科目注册日，所以我今天特地跑去找我的adviser预定时间
（注册日之前必须定好和adviser的会面时间，方便她办事）
结果我就撞见A同学了耶
撞见了耶哦呵呵呵呵～
原来我们是在相同adviser之下的（他是社会学系的嘛）
哇如果他今天成功注册了美国政府这个科目，就代表这热门课没有爆满
为了下学期能够上到这个我期待很久的课（也很喜欢那个讲师）
我就预定了下星期最早的注册时间
那么A同学就可以继续当我的同桌哈哈哈
同学你太可爱了，爷欣赏你
今天的烟霾很严重，我已经戴口罩去上课……
在炎热天气下转车到campus，结果吃午饭的时候得知下午的课全取消
我今天本来就是为了一小时的课特地出门的
现在竟然取消掉
API差不多200了吧
话说很多人都把口罩有颜色的一面戴在外
我很疑惑，白色那面是filter，现在你要避环境的污染分子，当然要把白色戴在外头呀！
除非是你生病不想传染其他人，那你就可以把青色那面戴在外
不去理解真正的戴法，戴到窒息最后也只是徒劳
下星期是我们这一batch学生的科目注册日，所以我今天特地跑去找我的adviser预定时间
（注册日之前必须定好和adviser的会面时间，方便她办事）
结果我就撞见A同学了耶
撞见了耶哦呵呵呵呵～
原来我们是在相同adviser之下的（他是社会学系的嘛）
哇如果他今天成功注册了美国政府这个科目，就代表这热门课没有爆满
为了下学期能够上到这个我期待很久的课（也很喜欢那个讲师）
我就预定了下星期最早的注册时间
那么A同学就可以继续当我的同桌哈哈哈
同学你太可爱了，爷欣赏你
2014年3月13日星期四
2014年3月12日星期三
I don't want to look at you anymore
I don't know if it's your arrogance or introvertness.
But you seem very hostile and indifferent.
In the BM class, you are always sticking with your BFF and I found it damn hard to communicate with both of you.
Well, Mabel is better, but when it comes to communication of three, she also leaves me out.
I don't understand the mentality of you guys, so I decided to leave the group of three for our two major assignments.
Which translates as freedom for me and hot water for you.
How funny it is when people do not know their limitations and inabilities and think of themselves as superior.
You guys have attitude problem. Seriously.
And it's less than two weeks from the deadline. I bet you haven't finished the individual assignment too.
I am tired of having to remind you two about the deadline.
And I was so goddamn pissed off today when you responded to my reminder that you thought it is only two people per group?
Oh fck, so you didn't know that I was with your group from the very beginning of this class?
Is my presence so insignificant to you?
Who did the previous presentations?
Who translated the fcking difficult BM passage for you?
Show some respect lah.
Sometimes when you are cordial and kind to everyone around you, you tend to persuade yourself that he or she does not have bad intention/attitude.
But you also have to learn to give people the disrespect that they deserve.
Or else you'll end up with little confidence, thinking that everything that happens is your own fault.
So I made a very strong decision on the spot to find another group mate, and luckily I found this guy that is also trying to find a partner.
His attitude is better and he's responsible.
Happily leaving my ex-groupmates to fck themselves.
Don't come wailing at me when you cannot hand in your work on the duedate.
You'd better change that forever-sulky face of yours or else you are going to end up confined in your small circle and pissing the initially helpful people around you.
Think you're cool? We'll see.
But you seem very hostile and indifferent.
In the BM class, you are always sticking with your BFF and I found it damn hard to communicate with both of you.
Well, Mabel is better, but when it comes to communication of three, she also leaves me out.
I don't understand the mentality of you guys, so I decided to leave the group of three for our two major assignments.
Which translates as freedom for me and hot water for you.
How funny it is when people do not know their limitations and inabilities and think of themselves as superior.
You guys have attitude problem. Seriously.
And it's less than two weeks from the deadline. I bet you haven't finished the individual assignment too.
I am tired of having to remind you two about the deadline.
And I was so goddamn pissed off today when you responded to my reminder that you thought it is only two people per group?
Oh fck, so you didn't know that I was with your group from the very beginning of this class?
Is my presence so insignificant to you?
Who did the previous presentations?
Who translated the fcking difficult BM passage for you?
Show some respect lah.
Sometimes when you are cordial and kind to everyone around you, you tend to persuade yourself that he or she does not have bad intention/attitude.
But you also have to learn to give people the disrespect that they deserve.
Or else you'll end up with little confidence, thinking that everything that happens is your own fault.
So I made a very strong decision on the spot to find another group mate, and luckily I found this guy that is also trying to find a partner.
His attitude is better and he's responsible.
Happily leaving my ex-groupmates to fck themselves.
Don't come wailing at me when you cannot hand in your work on the duedate.
You'd better change that forever-sulky face of yours or else you are going to end up confined in your small circle and pissing the initially helpful people around you.
Think you're cool? We'll see.
2014年3月10日星期一
Pinyin failed again, everything failing, sibeh failed morning
The title is the indicator of author went insane.
Google pinyin failed again...
What I'm doing this whole morning is basically trying to sort how to do a good student discussion.
Shit, why did we choose Syria crisis at the first time?
I can make a pretty informative presentation but discussion is very different.
How are you going to prompt the others to reflect and ask?
That's a problem.
At the same time I need to get familiar with the calculus syllabus.
Whole night yesterday spent on making sense of chapter 3...
Thanks for the help that my uncle has provided...
I'm not good at math and science so I guess I should just stick firmly to social science/ humanities courses.
I don't care how we get the derivatives and calculate all sort of weird graphs, albeit it is important for real world applications.
So lost now. I don't think my members would ever want to consult lecturer on how to generate the class discussion, maybe because of pride?
It's graded and we don't know if asking for help would affect the marks.
But either way we're in hot water too.
The taste of IR is really bitter, but it's a good experience.
At least we emerge as heroic and tragedic fighters, taking the most challenging course with highest fail record in ADP history.
And at leaaaast I am being pushed to investigate and analyze the Syria crisis, something that is not fun at all.
Oil, gas, pipelines. Veto, intervention, failed talks.
Obama, Putin, Assad. Qatar, Turkey, Iran.
Aaaaarggghhhh.
Google pinyin failed again...
What I'm doing this whole morning is basically trying to sort how to do a good student discussion.
Shit, why did we choose Syria crisis at the first time?
I can make a pretty informative presentation but discussion is very different.
How are you going to prompt the others to reflect and ask?
That's a problem.
At the same time I need to get familiar with the calculus syllabus.
Whole night yesterday spent on making sense of chapter 3...
Thanks for the help that my uncle has provided...
I'm not good at math and science so I guess I should just stick firmly to social science/ humanities courses.
I don't care how we get the derivatives and calculate all sort of weird graphs, albeit it is important for real world applications.
So lost now. I don't think my members would ever want to consult lecturer on how to generate the class discussion, maybe because of pride?
It's graded and we don't know if asking for help would affect the marks.
But either way we're in hot water too.
The taste of IR is really bitter, but it's a good experience.
At least we emerge as heroic and tragedic fighters, taking the most challenging course with highest fail record in ADP history.
And at leaaaast I am being pushed to investigate and analyze the Syria crisis, something that is not fun at all.
Oil, gas, pipelines. Veto, intervention, failed talks.
Obama, Putin, Assad. Qatar, Turkey, Iran.
Aaaaarggghhhh.
2014年3月9日星期日
2014年3月8日星期六
Idiots, idiots everywhere. #prayforMH370
经过MH370航班事件，可以看出哪些专页和哪些朋友是真的白痴或者无聊到极点。
某FB专页让我恼火，除了傻逼逼的一直发假消息，还在飞机被确认失踪于海域时发布RIP的照片，令人无法理解。
最白痴的是，不断的要有关当局拿出实证，一整个看上去就像泼妇一样。
你妹的，就事论事，你想指责当局办事不力没问题，可是人家就是找不到残骸，你嚷个屁啊？
另外，还有一个亲民联的专业很脑残，就是不断的要把一切政治化，看了让人默哀，大马不仅掉了飞机，还有人掉了大脑。
而我另外一个对时事（过度）敏感的友人，她的状态已经充斥我的newsfeed，忍无可忍之下我只能把她的动态关闭。
我欣赏你关心此新闻的态度，可是我也看到你那充满报复性的评论。
这是我很无法接受的，我觉得一个人再怎么有见解，没素质也是不可取的。
2014年3月7日星期五
2014年3月5日星期三
Yi Shi Wu Cheng
Campus mac doesn't have the Google pinyin so I have to blog using english which is not exactly comfortable for me when I really need to vent.
The next class which is pretty useless MPU BKA is half an hour away.
Spending two damn hours twice a week is a waste of time.
I could have put the time to better use, and this is why Malaysia isn't seeing any progress since most policies are halting real improvements.
Okay, so I will stop lashing out at the government now and start lashing myself instead.
Yesterday's philosophy test really wore me out for no reason. Maybe I used my brains too much.
The weariness will continue to last for a few days, a prediction deduced from my previous experiences.
Today, I spent about one an a half hour getting hit by volleyball at the court in this hot weather.
Hurting my limbs plus menstruating were not fun at all.
I did not have any cramps so I decided to proceed with the game.
The sports tournament this semester is too hasty, with no time left for newbies to even practice a sport.
I signed up for volleyball because I don't want to waste my club registration money.
Paying RM25 just to get the shirt and become a representative in badminton is not worthy.
So, I learnt some skills in two week, but still have a hard time to receive shots from over the net.
It hurt a lot during the first week and I got scary bruises. They say time heals (??), and just like playing violin, the torture is making you numb and your body is used to it.
It's good knowing that you still can contribute by being a substitute, which the team really appreciates when it desperately needs players to join games (sometimes players couldn't attend games because of classes).
I hate being a liability. The feeling sucks, and seeing others trying to give you confidence is so touching and frustrating at the same time.
Aside from not having any talent at all in sports, I also fare damn bad in maths.
I managed to understand the workings of the implicit differentiation. I know some science/math bitch would reply like, this topic is no big deal at all plus a puzzled smiley face, but hey, I am Che Rui and I suck in maths okay?
If you do not have the brains, put in extra effort, just like what Bernard Shaw did.
Our only wish is to not be 'common'.
Different people have different purpose of life.
Some want enjoyment, some want to get enslaved to capitalism, and some just want to be 'uncommon'.
If one cannot stand out (in whatever field), then what meaning does life have?
Besides not doing good in any specific field, I also feel so intimidated in IR.
There are plenty of people with more insight and knowledge of international affairs. Makes me wonder what differentiate one amass so many bright people.
How is one considered excellent in IR? Does it require only interest but not talent?
If I have nothing, I will work my ass off to gain SOMETHING.
I have to constantly scare myself to the max so I can be motivated enough to be extra hardworking.
The next class which is pretty useless MPU BKA is half an hour away.
Spending two damn hours twice a week is a waste of time.
I could have put the time to better use, and this is why Malaysia isn't seeing any progress since most policies are halting real improvements.
Okay, so I will stop lashing out at the government now and start lashing myself instead.
Yesterday's philosophy test really wore me out for no reason. Maybe I used my brains too much.
The weariness will continue to last for a few days, a prediction deduced from my previous experiences.
Today, I spent about one an a half hour getting hit by volleyball at the court in this hot weather.
Hurting my limbs plus menstruating were not fun at all.
I did not have any cramps so I decided to proceed with the game.
The sports tournament this semester is too hasty, with no time left for newbies to even practice a sport.
I signed up for volleyball because I don't want to waste my club registration money.
Paying RM25 just to get the shirt and become a representative in badminton is not worthy.
So, I learnt some skills in two week, but still have a hard time to receive shots from over the net.
It hurt a lot during the first week and I got scary bruises. They say time heals (??), and just like playing violin, the torture is making you numb and your body is used to it.
It's good knowing that you still can contribute by being a substitute, which the team really appreciates when it desperately needs players to join games (sometimes players couldn't attend games because of classes).
I hate being a liability. The feeling sucks, and seeing others trying to give you confidence is so touching and frustrating at the same time.
Aside from not having any talent at all in sports, I also fare damn bad in maths.
I managed to understand the workings of the implicit differentiation. I know some science/math bitch would reply like, this topic is no big deal at all plus a puzzled smiley face, but hey, I am Che Rui and I suck in maths okay?
If you do not have the brains, put in extra effort, just like what Bernard Shaw did.
Our only wish is to not be 'common'.
Different people have different purpose of life.
Some want enjoyment, some want to get enslaved to capitalism, and some just want to be 'uncommon'.
If one cannot stand out (in whatever field), then what meaning does life have?
Besides not doing good in any specific field, I also feel so intimidated in IR.
There are plenty of people with more insight and knowledge of international affairs. Makes me wonder what differentiate one amass so many bright people.
How is one considered excellent in IR? Does it require only interest but not talent?
If I have nothing, I will work my ass off to gain SOMETHING.
I have to constantly scare myself to the max so I can be motivated enough to be extra hardworking.
2014年3月4日星期二
头昏的一天
哲学课真是让人难受，今天讲师不在，结果我们在学长的监督下完成了1小时半的测验
我感觉自己的字数达不到标准啊
然后第一篇作文简直就是胡言乱语
我花了所有的时间答题，而很多同学进场写写一下就交卷离开了
难道是我太认真了吗啊啊啊？
测完后我整个人空虚了下来，脚步好像踩在浮云上面（不是轻松，而是没精神）
昨天才睡了4小时半
也不是因为读书的关系
反正回家已经很晚了，又搞这搞那的时间就没有了
每个星期二早上（6.45am妈呀）又是跟邻居一块去学院的嘛
所以就不够睡了
好累哦，不过测验完毕还是挺开心的，少了烦心事
不过还有很多的报告要完成，尤其是IR的特别麻烦
3点下课后就吃午饭，这是第一次这么迟吃饭
本来有两个半小时的间隙
但是我头已经塞不下什么东西了
早上莫名的下了两场雨把烟霾都刷走了
以为一整天都会很冷没想到又热回来
结果只能跑来图书馆避难
一天又过去了，而我，似乎没有真正完成什么
这一点一滴就是生活的微分
能够造就什么公式
靠的就是这些积分了
我感觉自己的字数达不到标准啊
然后第一篇作文简直就是胡言乱语
我花了所有的时间答题，而很多同学进场写写一下就交卷离开了
难道是我太认真了吗啊啊啊？
测完后我整个人空虚了下来，脚步好像踩在浮云上面（不是轻松，而是没精神）
昨天才睡了4小时半
也不是因为读书的关系
反正回家已经很晚了，又搞这搞那的时间就没有了
每个星期二早上（6.45am妈呀）又是跟邻居一块去学院的嘛
所以就不够睡了
好累哦，不过测验完毕还是挺开心的，少了烦心事
不过还有很多的报告要完成，尤其是IR的特别麻烦
3点下课后就吃午饭，这是第一次这么迟吃饭
本来有两个半小时的间隙
但是我头已经塞不下什么东西了
早上莫名的下了两场雨把烟霾都刷走了
以为一整天都会很冷没想到又热回来
结果只能跑来图书馆避难
一天又过去了，而我，似乎没有真正完成什么
这一点一滴就是生活的微分
能够造就什么公式
靠的就是这些积分了
2014年3月2日星期日
严酷三月
除了气温好像蒸笼一样，学习方面也越来越令人头疼～
在这个糟糕的天气中，真是需要很坚持很清醒才能啃完一篇又一篇的学术文章= =
IR课出现了危机，那个有算分的student-led discussion就要开始了，而第一组好像浑然不知那样。
还好我是第二组，大概下个星期二就要把我们组会讨论的新闻放在面子书的群组上面。
讲师在他一开学就整理好的网上文件内声明，discussion的相关资料必须在presentation前的一星期半上载到面子书群组给同学们阅读。我们的presentation日期大概是在3/13，不过因为之前取消了一堂课，所以我们组的日期应该会延迟。算来算去，下个星期二刚刚好啊！
好惊险，幸亏我临时提醒组员，不然就要被扣分了。
顺便也提醒一下那个可怜的第一组吧。
哲学课的测验就要来了，一个半小时两篇作文，大家一起抱着死吧
后星期是数学课的测验，是个大炸弹，因为讲师已经奔向第四课而全班还滞留在第二、三课摸不清头脑的状态中……
可是那些同学虽然平时一副听不明白的样子，测验出来的分数还是过得去的……
后星期我们有field trip，到时一组十个人要去islamic arts center和全东南亚最大的沙亚南苏丹萨拉胡丁回教堂，到时我需要包头叻哈哈哈哈～
真是期待
现在要做的是找各种叙利亚危机的资料！！！虽然我们是俄罗斯组但是我们的题目是realpolitik!!!!所以要探讨俄罗斯在叙利亚危机里的角色！！！哭！
在这个糟糕的天气中，真是需要很坚持很清醒才能啃完一篇又一篇的学术文章= =
IR课出现了危机，那个有算分的student-led discussion就要开始了，而第一组好像浑然不知那样。
还好我是第二组，大概下个星期二就要把我们组会讨论的新闻放在面子书的群组上面。
讲师在他一开学就整理好的网上文件内声明，discussion的相关资料必须在presentation前的一星期半上载到面子书群组给同学们阅读。我们的presentation日期大概是在3/13，不过因为之前取消了一堂课，所以我们组的日期应该会延迟。算来算去，下个星期二刚刚好啊！
好惊险，幸亏我临时提醒组员，不然就要被扣分了。
顺便也提醒一下那个可怜的第一组吧。
哲学课的测验就要来了，一个半小时两篇作文，大家一起抱着死吧
后星期是数学课的测验，是个大炸弹，因为讲师已经奔向第四课而全班还滞留在第二、三课摸不清头脑的状态中……
可是那些同学虽然平时一副听不明白的样子，测验出来的分数还是过得去的……
后星期我们有field trip，到时一组十个人要去islamic arts center和全东南亚最大的沙亚南苏丹萨拉胡丁回教堂，到时我需要包头叻哈哈哈哈～
真是期待
现在要做的是找各种叙利亚危机的资料！！！虽然我们是俄罗斯组但是我们的题目是realpolitik!!!!所以要探讨俄罗斯在叙利亚危机里的角色！！！哭！
2014年2月27日星期四
哲學是個沒有終點的東西
一次一次的哲學討論讓我昏頭轉向
身邊有好多很會思考的人
所以我感覺自己特別特別遲鈍
但是親愛的Ms Singh稱讚過我，無疑給了我很大的鼓勵
雖然自己現有想法可能會在下一次的閱讀中被完全否決
但是那煩惱的過程形成我們對哲學課的感情
（她今天問我以前上過哲學課嗎？我笑說沒有。其實在我心裡，哲學這個東西自從年幼就開始紮根了）
想當初，根本就不明白為什麼我們要去讀那些理論
可是想起測驗需要寫兩篇議論文
我於是開始一直去圖書館找資料
我想，這個學期結束後，圖書館裡100-150號的希臘哲學書籍大概會被我看完
我們的社會不太重視人文，有關書籍數量相對的很少
我想我摸得到哲學的尾巴了
connection比fact重要
我們永遠要探究‘為什麼’
因為每一個新理論的出現都是取自前人的經驗，或加以發展或致力推翻
我永遠不會忘記自己提出那個傻逼問題時，講師那亮起來的眼神
“為什麼原子論者把世間萬物的構造總結成性質和模樣相同的原子？
為什麼他們不接受Empedocles提出的四個基本元素？”
身邊有好多很會思考的人
所以我感覺自己特別特別遲鈍
但是親愛的Ms Singh稱讚過我，無疑給了我很大的鼓勵
雖然自己現有想法可能會在下一次的閱讀中被完全否決
但是那煩惱的過程形成我們對哲學課的感情
（她今天問我以前上過哲學課嗎？我笑說沒有。其實在我心裡，哲學這個東西自從年幼就開始紮根了）
想當初，根本就不明白為什麼我們要去讀那些理論
可是想起測驗需要寫兩篇議論文
我於是開始一直去圖書館找資料
我想，這個學期結束後，圖書館裡100-150號的希臘哲學書籍大概會被我看完
我們的社會不太重視人文，有關書籍數量相對的很少
我想我摸得到哲學的尾巴了
connection比fact重要
我們永遠要探究‘為什麼’
因為每一個新理論的出現都是取自前人的經驗，或加以發展或致力推翻
我永遠不會忘記自己提出那個傻逼問題時，講師那亮起來的眼神
“為什麼原子論者把世間萬物的構造總結成性質和模樣相同的原子？
為什麼他們不接受Empedocles提出的四個基本元素？”
2014年2月24日星期一
狀況不佳的一天
今天6.30am就和鄰居的孩子一起去campus了
從早上7點滴水不進的定坐在study room神遊+做點事
現在的戰況是又餓又冷
就連溫暖的室外對我來說也像北極嚴寒
今天估計是抽風了
本打算趁早上呆在study room好好的做點溫習
可是昨天搞哲學搞太夜
結果現在就悲劇了
根本沒心情做事啊
又卡在那種不知道要吃早餐還是午餐的時間點
然後還得想辦法去整理一些明天就要提交的群組作業資料
果然天生只能是玩樂的料子，硬是要裝學霸就注定悲劇
不過餓+冷會讓人腦子特別特別清醒喔
反正我覺得我指尖敲出來的字句特別有味道
內容是蠻枯燥的啦
就是在分析俄羅斯和烏克蘭的愛恨情仇唄
剛剛手賤還上豆瓣看人家寫直播一下下
看到一個讓人可歌可泣的單戀故事
我突然就醒了
別問我對愛情有什麼感悟啊
我的感悟就是沒有感悟
小朋友們別浪費時間在思考這種沒有用的問題上面啦
該來的我們攤手迎接，不該留的就撒手放開～～～
人生多歡樂，啦啦啦～
我看我真的是冷到傻了。
從早上7點滴水不進的定坐在study room神遊+做點事
現在的戰況是又餓又冷
就連溫暖的室外對我來說也像北極嚴寒
今天估計是抽風了
本打算趁早上呆在study room好好的做點溫習
可是昨天搞哲學搞太夜
結果現在就悲劇了
根本沒心情做事啊
又卡在那種不知道要吃早餐還是午餐的時間點
然後還得想辦法去整理一些明天就要提交的群組作業資料
果然天生只能是玩樂的料子，硬是要裝學霸就注定悲劇
不過餓+冷會讓人腦子特別特別清醒喔
反正我覺得我指尖敲出來的字句特別有味道
內容是蠻枯燥的啦
就是在分析俄羅斯和烏克蘭的愛恨情仇唄
剛剛手賤還上豆瓣看人家寫直播一下下
看到一個讓人可歌可泣的單戀故事
我突然就醒了
別問我對愛情有什麼感悟啊
我的感悟就是沒有感悟
小朋友們別浪費時間在思考這種沒有用的問題上面啦
該來的我們攤手迎接，不該留的就撒手放開～～～
人生多歡樂，啦啦啦～
我看我真的是冷到傻了。
2014年2月21日星期五
超不爽的
IR第一次測驗的分數是25.3/30，84%
換成GPA的話就是3.3啊，B+啊！！！
可惡啊啊啊啊
原來，IR最高紀錄GPA3.3是個永遠打不破的神話！！！！
我目前只能並肩，不知道能不能超越！！！！！
講師發明的測驗系統很精明啊！！！！
还剩一小时的时间，我只能把Miletus philosophers的资料做个总结
明天6点起床，要读一个章节的globalization
去跑步
12点活动结束后回家，休息一下，查资料把state strategy和pd matrix写好
接着继续总结所有的哲学家论点
剩下的时间就把数学A1-3复习好
睡觉前读globalization
目前最需要完成的书本其实是story of philosophy和Sophie's world
換成GPA的話就是3.3啊，B+啊！！！
可惡啊啊啊啊
原來，IR最高紀錄GPA3.3是個永遠打不破的神話！！！！
我目前只能並肩，不知道能不能超越！！！！！
講師發明的測驗系統很精明啊！！！！
还剩一小时的时间，我只能把Miletus philosophers的资料做个总结
明天6点起床，要读一个章节的globalization
去跑步
12点活动结束后回家，休息一下，查资料把state strategy和pd matrix写好
接着继续总结所有的哲学家论点
剩下的时间就把数学A1-3复习好
睡觉前读globalization
目前最需要完成的书本其实是story of philosophy和Sophie's world
2014年2月13日星期四
完美主義！！！！！！！
提心吊膽了兩星期，終於迎來我們組的presentation!
雖然老師稱讚我們做的不錯，但我還是不禁會去思考有些解釋得不清楚的地方。
我覺得我可能讓一些同學無法明了，這讓我很困擾……………………
完美主義者就是活受罪啊
老師的意思是，她教過這麼多學期，一般選到Xenophanes這個哲學家的學生都只會做一個簡短的呈現，畢竟學術界的人都不太重視他。
可是老師你要知道啊，我們這組是玩命組，你給我們一個對象，我們會想盡辦法挖出所有網上論文和資料去表現出來的～
我都不知道翻過多少古希臘哲學的學術文章（= =+）
或許是讓大家看到了一個完全不同的Xenophanes，所以才得到了老師的認可吧！
今天呈現的時候我和組員都戴鬍子當道具，
老師的評語是：很像土匪……………………
嗚嗚嗚嗚早知道我包頭巾就好了……………………
最近睡眠嚴重不足，偏偏傍晚的課開始了
男神新年回來有點殘哦，然後我們都是眼神交流根本就沒有對話啊哈哈
誰叫這次的MPU課（伊斯蘭和亞洲文明）把所有學生放在一班
結果一大班同學就在大講堂上課，我們都要扭頭、抬頭才能和其他同學交流
不過，此男神只是一道美麗的風景，真正的男神，另有他人哦
（什麼邏輯？？？
另一個MPU的課就還好，是BM，老師很開朗然後計劃帶我們出外遊玩什麼的
感覺這學期選的課很難，週末或者有空檔時都要要好好的溫習功課
熟讀一些希臘哲學家的理論（畢竟老師沒有教課，只是由同學負責呈現，我擔心他們資料有疏漏，影響到我們的備考）
順便準備一下國際關係課兩個月後的期中考論文（老師今天讓我們評一篇作文的分數，那篇其實是他臨時寫的；我們的評分標準高，結果老師就決定用那個標準來給我們打分！！好邪惡啊！！！不作死就不會死啊啊啊哭瞎……）
我要IR拿A！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
雖然老師稱讚我們做的不錯，但我還是不禁會去思考有些解釋得不清楚的地方。
我覺得我可能讓一些同學無法明了，這讓我很困擾……………………
完美主義者就是活受罪啊
老師的意思是，她教過這麼多學期，一般選到Xenophanes這個哲學家的學生都只會做一個簡短的呈現，畢竟學術界的人都不太重視他。
可是老師你要知道啊，我們這組是玩命組，你給我們一個對象，我們會想盡辦法挖出所有網上論文和資料去表現出來的～
我都不知道翻過多少古希臘哲學的學術文章（= =+）
或許是讓大家看到了一個完全不同的Xenophanes，所以才得到了老師的認可吧！
今天呈現的時候我和組員都戴鬍子當道具，
老師的評語是：很像土匪……………………
嗚嗚嗚嗚早知道我包頭巾就好了……………………
最近睡眠嚴重不足，偏偏傍晚的課開始了
男神新年回來有點殘哦，然後我們都是眼神交流根本就沒有對話啊哈哈
誰叫這次的MPU課（伊斯蘭和亞洲文明）把所有學生放在一班
結果一大班同學就在大講堂上課，我們都要扭頭、抬頭才能和其他同學交流
不過，此男神只是一道美麗的風景，真正的男神，另有他人哦
（什麼邏輯？？？
另一個MPU的課就還好，是BM，老師很開朗然後計劃帶我們出外遊玩什麼的
感覺這學期選的課很難，週末或者有空檔時都要要好好的溫習功課
熟讀一些希臘哲學家的理論（畢竟老師沒有教課，只是由同學負責呈現，我擔心他們資料有疏漏，影響到我們的備考）
順便準備一下國際關係課兩個月後的期中考論文（老師今天讓我們評一篇作文的分數，那篇其實是他臨時寫的；我們的評分標準高，結果老師就決定用那個標準來給我們打分！！好邪惡啊！！！不作死就不會死啊啊啊哭瞎……）
我要IR拿A！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
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