【充实感】
今天蛮疲累的，读了那么多数学，也终于考完两个科目。
在面子书上，我的朋友一举成名（因为他丢失的学生证被别人公告天下哈哈
我和另三个同学在安排马六甲+KL游玩事宜
稍早和international affairs advisor讨论过，决定接受推荐，明年去中国留学一学期
【那些让我学会不回头的人】
包括曾经以玩弄别人感情为乐的某人
其实，同学，我没有什么想要和你说的
对你也没有了任何负面情感
不知道该把你当作朋友还是陌路人
所以你联络我的时候我还是挺挣扎的
我应该以礼相待，或视若无睹？
有些人事物回不到从前
既然当初学不会珍惜，后悔的时候就不要奢求别人谅解
这是很公道的，不是吗？
还有一些和我渐行渐远的朋友，我明白一些事情的改变是不能怨谁的
生而在世，与琳琅满目的人类邂逅相知，但不能保证不分道扬镳
换一个成熟的态度去接受和面对，毕竟我们再也不是小孩子
祝你们一切安好
【那个我想要紧握和珍惜的人】
我很喜欢你，真的。
只是我们不够了解对方，度日如年的心情让人觉得靠近一点是那么的困难
无论如何，在还没得到你的回复之前
我会一直的努力下去
先爱自己多一点，不但可以避免因患得患失、操之过急而失去一个人，还能让别人更加欣赏你的闪光点
愿意为一个人付出，让对方感受到真诚，才能走得长久
幸福，要靠自己争取。
2014年4月24日星期四
Groupwork =trouble =ranting
I really do not understand why people don't do their work.
Although this time my groupmates are better in a way that they took the initiative to conduct meetings, but what is the use of meeting when you don't even want to make progress/discuss something substantial?
Fck it, everytime I am the one who search for information, and when I post in google doc nobody gives a damn, like it's natural they should be doing nothing and leave it all to me.
It's okay if you don't do the research, but at least try to understand what I have written.
Now they start to panic last minute, and go into a mess about who's talking on what topic and also the ppt presentation.
Seems like no one can volunteer to do a simple ppt for the group. Even those (okay, that's actually a particular individual whom I really dislike) who have not contributed at all.
You know, this is a group of 6-7 people, and it is so unfair that only a few people really care about what is going on.
So in the end I was the one reading everyone's assigned essays. I trust myself more, sadly speaking.
I am very tired right now. Halfway doing calculus questions but have to come back and finish off this phil class preparation.
You think this is your death week? Be considerate. I am also suffering, and you should never leave everything to me.
The worst thing is to tell me to chill. I want a good performance. I'm not going to slack okay.
Fck.
Although this time my groupmates are better in a way that they took the initiative to conduct meetings, but what is the use of meeting when you don't even want to make progress/discuss something substantial?
Fck it, everytime I am the one who search for information, and when I post in google doc nobody gives a damn, like it's natural they should be doing nothing and leave it all to me.
It's okay if you don't do the research, but at least try to understand what I have written.
Now they start to panic last minute, and go into a mess about who's talking on what topic and also the ppt presentation.
Seems like no one can volunteer to do a simple ppt for the group. Even those (okay, that's actually a particular individual whom I really dislike) who have not contributed at all.
You know, this is a group of 6-7 people, and it is so unfair that only a few people really care about what is going on.
So in the end I was the one reading everyone's assigned essays. I trust myself more, sadly speaking.
I am very tired right now. Halfway doing calculus questions but have to come back and finish off this phil class preparation.
You think this is your death week? Be considerate. I am also suffering, and you should never leave everything to me.
The worst thing is to tell me to chill. I want a good performance. I'm not going to slack okay.
Fck.
2014年4月19日星期六
碎语
`自作聪明
一些很简单的理论，经过一些人的故弄玄虚变得生涩难懂。
这根本就不是追求智慧的表现，而且也让群组讨论变得很辛苦。
真不明白这些自以为是的人求的到底是什么。
`成长
成长就是能够容忍比你不足的人，并且平等的对待他们。
`负担
为了体现所谓的‘团队精神’，有时你必须承受很多的不公平。
这周是'death week',很多平时摇脚的同学已经一个头两个大，偏偏又遇上group work，所以只能由群组里比较‘闲’的人（比如，我）来承担所有的工作量。
我倒不介意，毕竟获益的是自己。
没办法，大家的习惯和步伐都不同，追求公平只是枉然，接受吧。
`追逐
想要接近一个智商和外貌都比自己优秀的人。
可是总是力不从心，想要靠近他，却又感觉相隔千山万水。
现在能做的，就是尽量保持独立，不要让特定的一人成为自己的重心。
不然，会觉得自己一文不值。
一些很简单的理论，经过一些人的故弄玄虚变得生涩难懂。
这根本就不是追求智慧的表现，而且也让群组讨论变得很辛苦。
真不明白这些自以为是的人求的到底是什么。
`成长
成长就是能够容忍比你不足的人，并且平等的对待他们。
`负担
为了体现所谓的‘团队精神’，有时你必须承受很多的不公平。
这周是'death week',很多平时摇脚的同学已经一个头两个大，偏偏又遇上group work，所以只能由群组里比较‘闲’的人（比如，我）来承担所有的工作量。
我倒不介意，毕竟获益的是自己。
没办法，大家的习惯和步伐都不同，追求公平只是枉然，接受吧。
`追逐
想要接近一个智商和外貌都比自己优秀的人。
可是总是力不从心，想要靠近他，却又感觉相隔千山万水。
现在能做的，就是尽量保持独立，不要让特定的一人成为自己的重心。
不然，会觉得自己一文不值。
2014年4月18日星期五
0416-0418
音乐
越来越觉得自己是交响乐团家庭的一份子，尤其看见很多新人涌入的时候，更有一种‘一定要把我们的社团壮大’的感觉。
星期三和旧、新成员们一起练习，我们也多了一些乐器演奏者，比如法国号和低音提琴，而且他们特别会融入大环境，第一天练习就很顺手～
有了这样积极的环境，真心希望大家都能继续参与每星期的练习。
至于本人的strings section，我真的应努力去提升自己，这样组员面对什么问题的时候，我才能给予建设性的建议。
赶工
沮丧的是，明明是自己的major，可是连一个term paper也写得乱七八糟。
这几天都在日夜赶工，只为在今天交上作业。
虽然很难过，加上哲学课mid term的成绩很不如意，但是想想看，有了这些的失败，才知道下学期要往哪方面施力。
需要读很多很多的论文和材料，英文也要加强。
生命里的错过，有时连弥补的机会都没有。错过了这个学期的IR课，没有发挥到最好，就没有机会重来。
依赖
重心不稳的人需要抓住救命稻草，可是救命稻草难道不也是下一个危机和崩解的预示吗？
能够依赖的只有自己，这是大部分时间里的情况。
没有人能够将你从你那浑浊的思想中解救出来，我也没有那个耐心。
好自为之吧，上天给了你那么多，你为何还要斤斤计较。
很多路的形成都是由太多不可知的外力形成的，并不是你想象的——只要你愿意它就会随你意的进展。
越来越觉得自己是交响乐团家庭的一份子，尤其看见很多新人涌入的时候，更有一种‘一定要把我们的社团壮大’的感觉。
星期三和旧、新成员们一起练习，我们也多了一些乐器演奏者，比如法国号和低音提琴，而且他们特别会融入大环境，第一天练习就很顺手～
有了这样积极的环境，真心希望大家都能继续参与每星期的练习。
至于本人的strings section，我真的应努力去提升自己，这样组员面对什么问题的时候，我才能给予建设性的建议。
赶工
沮丧的是，明明是自己的major，可是连一个term paper也写得乱七八糟。
这几天都在日夜赶工，只为在今天交上作业。
虽然很难过，加上哲学课mid term的成绩很不如意，但是想想看，有了这些的失败，才知道下学期要往哪方面施力。
需要读很多很多的论文和材料，英文也要加强。
生命里的错过，有时连弥补的机会都没有。错过了这个学期的IR课，没有发挥到最好，就没有机会重来。
依赖
重心不稳的人需要抓住救命稻草，可是救命稻草难道不也是下一个危机和崩解的预示吗？
能够依赖的只有自己，这是大部分时间里的情况。
没有人能够将你从你那浑浊的思想中解救出来，我也没有那个耐心。
好自为之吧，上天给了你那么多，你为何还要斤斤计较。
很多路的形成都是由太多不可知的外力形成的，并不是你想象的——只要你愿意它就会随你意的进展。
2014年4月10日星期四
Quiet life
Joining a lot of activities recently, life is busy, but I feel that it is quiet at the same time.
Maybe I have reduced time to be with my friends, but it's still okay, I like what I am doing now.
Fell sick today but went through two horrible tests. Calculus, I screwed it up.
Have to admit the fact that some people are just better in problem solving. Math isn't my strength.
I should improve my writing and speaking skills now. The latter has seen huge progress after going through philosophy and international relations class.
Attended the peer support group meeting yesterday, but felt extremely uncomfortable in that group. I would give it a try for a few more times, but if that isn't working I'm going to switch to another day/session. The problem isn't the content, but the people. There was this over assertive girl who made the session her own little playground and this is what I dislike most. People who look like they are all good and positive but they are not really so. How could you fail to be attentive to your group member's speech when you are devoting yourself to a peer counselling and discussion session?
Some people should learn to listen. That is the basic of counselling. Don't talk so much about yourself, people will soon be tired of listening about you, you, and you.
Maybe I have reduced time to be with my friends, but it's still okay, I like what I am doing now.
Fell sick today but went through two horrible tests. Calculus, I screwed it up.
Have to admit the fact that some people are just better in problem solving. Math isn't my strength.
I should improve my writing and speaking skills now. The latter has seen huge progress after going through philosophy and international relations class.
Attended the peer support group meeting yesterday, but felt extremely uncomfortable in that group. I would give it a try for a few more times, but if that isn't working I'm going to switch to another day/session. The problem isn't the content, but the people. There was this over assertive girl who made the session her own little playground and this is what I dislike most. People who look like they are all good and positive but they are not really so. How could you fail to be attentive to your group member's speech when you are devoting yourself to a peer counselling and discussion session?
Some people should learn to listen. That is the basic of counselling. Don't talk so much about yourself, people will soon be tired of listening about you, you, and you.
2014年4月2日星期三
Sigh
Although waking up in the midnight doing stuff is just too miserable but I have managed to finish everything in one hour.
Should not be angry because I have to handle a mess.
We cannot control what others impose on us but we can choose to be at peace with it.
After venting in a blogpost prior to my work, I decided to take that post down.
I think I would be happier if I just demand myself to do better instead of hoping that the others would follow my steps.
It's not that bad after all. Must get used to solving crises.
No making excuses and blaming other people for a team's failure. They can choose to be indifferent if they want to, but I believe every responsible member will have time to sort out the whole thing. So I have the time, just that I need to put in disproportionate effort. Question yourself on how to optimize rather than doing your part and in the end suffer from a bigger loss.
No use being angry and still have to wipe others' asses.
Cut the front part and give it your best. At least you can answer to yourself.
Others? They will learn their lesson in the future. Don't bother to waste time giving them a lesson.
You have to know that the later a person learns about life's lessons, the more trouble he/she is going to get into.
Should not be angry because I have to handle a mess.
We cannot control what others impose on us but we can choose to be at peace with it.
After venting in a blogpost prior to my work, I decided to take that post down.
I think I would be happier if I just demand myself to do better instead of hoping that the others would follow my steps.
It's not that bad after all. Must get used to solving crises.
No making excuses and blaming other people for a team's failure. They can choose to be indifferent if they want to, but I believe every responsible member will have time to sort out the whole thing. So I have the time, just that I need to put in disproportionate effort. Question yourself on how to optimize rather than doing your part and in the end suffer from a bigger loss.
No use being angry and still have to wipe others' asses.
Cut the front part and give it your best. At least you can answer to yourself.
Others? They will learn their lesson in the future. Don't bother to waste time giving them a lesson.
You have to know that the later a person learns about life's lessons, the more trouble he/she is going to get into.
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