忘记post了 我的博客已换去 glorioushamartia.wordpress.com
2014年6月5日星期四
2014年5月5日星期一
兩日見聞·遊記
一天下馬六甲，一天繞首都趴趴走，是相當累的行程～
馬六甲的炎熱快讓我融化，商業化的雞場街和我以前去的時候一樣，除了紀念品就是外國人，所以說不上好玩，頂多又是一個消費場所。要認識當地人的文化，看一看大街小巷就可以感受得到，不需要去一個圈養區。
所剩無幾的老店鋪，不知道有沒有人傳承。它們在現代化的商店當中顯得冷清和不起眼。
我想，一個旅途並不是硬性規定要把清單上的‘必看、必吃、必做’都完成打勾，所以去馬六甲雖然也沒有特別嘗試什麼菜餚和參觀多少景點，卻相當的順心。
路上發生了不少小插曲，包括收到泊車罰單和追火車戲碼（車長您太善良了！！），入夜時的火車奔向首都，我們在舊式車廂中和外國夫婦面面相覷，時不時三個人聊天、發呆。
經過其中一個站點時，我望著窗外陌生又無比熟悉的建築，心裡似乎有一點想要波濤洶湧，最後還是無疾而終。
想嘆也嘆不出，鬱悶。
同學說，下次玩的時候真的要做好規劃。我在出發前早已做了研究，有一套計劃。可是一夥人一塊出門，每個人都有自己的意見，又不是旅行團，所謂計劃很難實施。加上大家都略顯慵懶，不是特別嚮往看什麼歷史景點～～（馬六甲古蹟區素質還有待提升……）
最讓我們開心的是彼此的陪伴，談學院、談愛情、談動漫、談一些亂七八糟的話題……
晚上和我的bff回去她的宿舍睡覺～
可是我們從輕快鐵轉公車時，在公車站等到頭髮發白，因為司機被困在車龍裡。
公車好不容易到了，結果又是一輪的困在車龍=_=
本來10分鐘的車程，當晚一共費了1小時才到站……
我們雖然困得不耐煩，但幸運的是在上車時就有座位。
覺得公車司機蠻可憐的，也同情那些站著的朋友……
半途中，有很多外勞上車。我這兩天沒少看見馬來西亞公眾對外勞投出的不屑眼神。外勞人數確實激增了，但這不代表我們有權利歧視他們。
辛勤工作的人們，只為求溫飽，難道在異地生存也是一種錯嗎？
要生氣、要不屑，矛頭應該對向政府。
政府的寬鬆政策，不僅置外勞於國人的指責當中，也讓國人產生了隱憂和警惕。
這根本就不是一個善待其人民和外國勞工的政權。
------------------------------
第二天在KL走走，我們拿著GPS一開始越走越亂（我們的司機同學是KL人可是他也不認路），後來學會估計路段長度之後，才停止我們的一番亂遊。
仔細想想，我這輩子還真沒去過中央市場，那裡是個寶地呀。特別喜歡的波西米亞風格裙子和長褲向我招手，可惜我荷包無法負擔。
小眾品牌有時比名牌更好看呢。
下午去看《風起了》，沒想過自己有機會欣賞宮老的最後一部作品，機會難得。全馬只有吉隆坡的四間戲院播映。
從中央市場走出來的時候，我們其實只有20分鐘的時間趕去戲院。合作無間的我們，兩個人衝上去買票，駕車的同學快點找車位。
趕到氣喘吁籲，我告訴他們不用那麼急，廣告時間很長（經驗、經驗）。
結果我們入座後足足等了15分鐘左右，廣告才停止。
坐在第一排，是人生中的第一次，雖然角度不好，但電影很精彩，能說是彌補了位置帶來的不方便。（聽說搶票很難，就連預訂也不保證能夠坐第二排，所以應該要感恩了吧？
好吧，我又有感想了，反正我覺得戲院商業化到令人作嘔的地步，明明知道第一排根本不適合給觀眾看電影，硬是要利用那一點的位置。廣告數量也是我所看的場次中最多的，太恐怖了。Pavilion的GSC真心讓我印象不佳，我覺得還是自家附近setia city mall的戲院舒服多了。
吉隆坡是個發展中的城市，但要知道一個城市的最終勝利，不在於有多少的工程和投資，而是有能力讓居住者感到自在。我們不要住戶適應城市，而要讓城市適合居住。
馬六甲的炎熱快讓我融化，商業化的雞場街和我以前去的時候一樣，除了紀念品就是外國人，所以說不上好玩，頂多又是一個消費場所。要認識當地人的文化，看一看大街小巷就可以感受得到，不需要去一個圈養區。
所剩無幾的老店鋪，不知道有沒有人傳承。它們在現代化的商店當中顯得冷清和不起眼。
我想，一個旅途並不是硬性規定要把清單上的‘必看、必吃、必做’都完成打勾，所以去馬六甲雖然也沒有特別嘗試什麼菜餚和參觀多少景點，卻相當的順心。
路上發生了不少小插曲，包括收到泊車罰單和追火車戲碼（車長您太善良了！！），入夜時的火車奔向首都，我們在舊式車廂中和外國夫婦面面相覷，時不時三個人聊天、發呆。
經過其中一個站點時，我望著窗外陌生又無比熟悉的建築，心裡似乎有一點想要波濤洶湧，最後還是無疾而終。
想嘆也嘆不出，鬱悶。
同學說，下次玩的時候真的要做好規劃。我在出發前早已做了研究，有一套計劃。可是一夥人一塊出門，每個人都有自己的意見，又不是旅行團，所謂計劃很難實施。加上大家都略顯慵懶，不是特別嚮往看什麼歷史景點～～（馬六甲古蹟區素質還有待提升……）
最讓我們開心的是彼此的陪伴，談學院、談愛情、談動漫、談一些亂七八糟的話題……
晚上和我的bff回去她的宿舍睡覺～
可是我們從輕快鐵轉公車時，在公車站等到頭髮發白，因為司機被困在車龍裡。
公車好不容易到了，結果又是一輪的困在車龍=_=
本來10分鐘的車程，當晚一共費了1小時才到站……
我們雖然困得不耐煩，但幸運的是在上車時就有座位。
覺得公車司機蠻可憐的，也同情那些站著的朋友……
半途中，有很多外勞上車。我這兩天沒少看見馬來西亞公眾對外勞投出的不屑眼神。外勞人數確實激增了，但這不代表我們有權利歧視他們。
辛勤工作的人們，只為求溫飽，難道在異地生存也是一種錯嗎？
要生氣、要不屑，矛頭應該對向政府。
政府的寬鬆政策，不僅置外勞於國人的指責當中，也讓國人產生了隱憂和警惕。
這根本就不是一個善待其人民和外國勞工的政權。
------------------------------
第二天在KL走走，我們拿著GPS一開始越走越亂（我們的司機同學是KL人可是他也不認路），後來學會估計路段長度之後，才停止我們的一番亂遊。
仔細想想，我這輩子還真沒去過中央市場，那裡是個寶地呀。特別喜歡的波西米亞風格裙子和長褲向我招手，可惜我荷包無法負擔。
小眾品牌有時比名牌更好看呢。
下午去看《風起了》，沒想過自己有機會欣賞宮老的最後一部作品，機會難得。全馬只有吉隆坡的四間戲院播映。
從中央市場走出來的時候，我們其實只有20分鐘的時間趕去戲院。合作無間的我們，兩個人衝上去買票，駕車的同學快點找車位。
趕到氣喘吁籲，我告訴他們不用那麼急，廣告時間很長（經驗、經驗）。
結果我們入座後足足等了15分鐘左右，廣告才停止。
坐在第一排，是人生中的第一次，雖然角度不好，但電影很精彩，能說是彌補了位置帶來的不方便。（聽說搶票很難，就連預訂也不保證能夠坐第二排，所以應該要感恩了吧？
好吧，我又有感想了，反正我覺得戲院商業化到令人作嘔的地步，明明知道第一排根本不適合給觀眾看電影，硬是要利用那一點的位置。廣告數量也是我所看的場次中最多的，太恐怖了。Pavilion的GSC真心讓我印象不佳，我覺得還是自家附近setia city mall的戲院舒服多了。
吉隆坡是個發展中的城市，但要知道一個城市的最終勝利，不在於有多少的工程和投資，而是有能力讓居住者感到自在。我們不要住戶適應城市，而要讓城市適合居住。
2014年4月26日星期六
多事之秋
【充实感】
今天蛮疲累的，读了那么多数学，也终于考完两个科目。
在面子书上，我的朋友一举成名（因为他丢失的学生证被别人公告天下哈哈
我和另三个同学在安排马六甲+KL游玩事宜
稍早和international affairs advisor讨论过，决定接受推荐，明年去中国留学一学期
【那些让我学会不回头的人】
包括曾经以玩弄别人感情为乐的某人
其实，同学，我没有什么想要和你说的
对你也没有了任何负面情感
不知道该把你当作朋友还是陌路人
所以你联络我的时候我还是挺挣扎的
我应该以礼相待，或视若无睹？
有些人事物回不到从前
既然当初学不会珍惜，后悔的时候就不要奢求别人谅解
这是很公道的，不是吗？
还有一些和我渐行渐远的朋友，我明白一些事情的改变是不能怨谁的
生而在世，与琳琅满目的人类邂逅相知，但不能保证不分道扬镳
换一个成熟的态度去接受和面对，毕竟我们再也不是小孩子
祝你们一切安好
【那个我想要紧握和珍惜的人】
我很喜欢你，真的。
只是我们不够了解对方，度日如年的心情让人觉得靠近一点是那么的困难
无论如何，在还没得到你的回复之前
我会一直的努力下去
先爱自己多一点，不但可以避免因患得患失、操之过急而失去一个人，还能让别人更加欣赏你的闪光点
愿意为一个人付出，让对方感受到真诚，才能走得长久
幸福，要靠自己争取。
今天蛮疲累的，读了那么多数学，也终于考完两个科目。
在面子书上，我的朋友一举成名（因为他丢失的学生证被别人公告天下哈哈
我和另三个同学在安排马六甲+KL游玩事宜
稍早和international affairs advisor讨论过，决定接受推荐，明年去中国留学一学期
【那些让我学会不回头的人】
包括曾经以玩弄别人感情为乐的某人
其实，同学，我没有什么想要和你说的
对你也没有了任何负面情感
不知道该把你当作朋友还是陌路人
所以你联络我的时候我还是挺挣扎的
我应该以礼相待，或视若无睹？
有些人事物回不到从前
既然当初学不会珍惜，后悔的时候就不要奢求别人谅解
这是很公道的，不是吗？
还有一些和我渐行渐远的朋友，我明白一些事情的改变是不能怨谁的
生而在世，与琳琅满目的人类邂逅相知，但不能保证不分道扬镳
换一个成熟的态度去接受和面对，毕竟我们再也不是小孩子
祝你们一切安好
【那个我想要紧握和珍惜的人】
我很喜欢你，真的。
只是我们不够了解对方，度日如年的心情让人觉得靠近一点是那么的困难
无论如何，在还没得到你的回复之前
我会一直的努力下去
先爱自己多一点，不但可以避免因患得患失、操之过急而失去一个人，还能让别人更加欣赏你的闪光点
愿意为一个人付出，让对方感受到真诚，才能走得长久
幸福，要靠自己争取。
2014年4月24日星期四
Groupwork =trouble =ranting
I really do not understand why people don't do their work.
Although this time my groupmates are better in a way that they took the initiative to conduct meetings, but what is the use of meeting when you don't even want to make progress/discuss something substantial?
Fck it, everytime I am the one who search for information, and when I post in google doc nobody gives a damn, like it's natural they should be doing nothing and leave it all to me.
It's okay if you don't do the research, but at least try to understand what I have written.
Now they start to panic last minute, and go into a mess about who's talking on what topic and also the ppt presentation.
Seems like no one can volunteer to do a simple ppt for the group. Even those (okay, that's actually a particular individual whom I really dislike) who have not contributed at all.
You know, this is a group of 6-7 people, and it is so unfair that only a few people really care about what is going on.
So in the end I was the one reading everyone's assigned essays. I trust myself more, sadly speaking.
I am very tired right now. Halfway doing calculus questions but have to come back and finish off this phil class preparation.
You think this is your death week? Be considerate. I am also suffering, and you should never leave everything to me.
The worst thing is to tell me to chill. I want a good performance. I'm not going to slack okay.
Fck.
Although this time my groupmates are better in a way that they took the initiative to conduct meetings, but what is the use of meeting when you don't even want to make progress/discuss something substantial?
Fck it, everytime I am the one who search for information, and when I post in google doc nobody gives a damn, like it's natural they should be doing nothing and leave it all to me.
It's okay if you don't do the research, but at least try to understand what I have written.
Now they start to panic last minute, and go into a mess about who's talking on what topic and also the ppt presentation.
Seems like no one can volunteer to do a simple ppt for the group. Even those (okay, that's actually a particular individual whom I really dislike) who have not contributed at all.
You know, this is a group of 6-7 people, and it is so unfair that only a few people really care about what is going on.
So in the end I was the one reading everyone's assigned essays. I trust myself more, sadly speaking.
I am very tired right now. Halfway doing calculus questions but have to come back and finish off this phil class preparation.
You think this is your death week? Be considerate. I am also suffering, and you should never leave everything to me.
The worst thing is to tell me to chill. I want a good performance. I'm not going to slack okay.
Fck.
2014年4月19日星期六
碎语
`自作聪明
一些很简单的理论，经过一些人的故弄玄虚变得生涩难懂。
这根本就不是追求智慧的表现，而且也让群组讨论变得很辛苦。
真不明白这些自以为是的人求的到底是什么。
`成长
成长就是能够容忍比你不足的人，并且平等的对待他们。
`负担
为了体现所谓的‘团队精神’，有时你必须承受很多的不公平。
这周是'death week',很多平时摇脚的同学已经一个头两个大，偏偏又遇上group work，所以只能由群组里比较‘闲’的人（比如，我）来承担所有的工作量。
我倒不介意，毕竟获益的是自己。
没办法，大家的习惯和步伐都不同，追求公平只是枉然，接受吧。
`追逐
想要接近一个智商和外貌都比自己优秀的人。
可是总是力不从心，想要靠近他，却又感觉相隔千山万水。
现在能做的，就是尽量保持独立，不要让特定的一人成为自己的重心。
不然，会觉得自己一文不值。
一些很简单的理论，经过一些人的故弄玄虚变得生涩难懂。
这根本就不是追求智慧的表现，而且也让群组讨论变得很辛苦。
真不明白这些自以为是的人求的到底是什么。
`成长
成长就是能够容忍比你不足的人，并且平等的对待他们。
`负担
为了体现所谓的‘团队精神’，有时你必须承受很多的不公平。
这周是'death week',很多平时摇脚的同学已经一个头两个大，偏偏又遇上group work，所以只能由群组里比较‘闲’的人（比如，我）来承担所有的工作量。
我倒不介意，毕竟获益的是自己。
没办法，大家的习惯和步伐都不同，追求公平只是枉然，接受吧。
`追逐
想要接近一个智商和外貌都比自己优秀的人。
可是总是力不从心，想要靠近他，却又感觉相隔千山万水。
现在能做的，就是尽量保持独立，不要让特定的一人成为自己的重心。
不然，会觉得自己一文不值。
2014年4月18日星期五
0416-0418
音乐
越来越觉得自己是交响乐团家庭的一份子，尤其看见很多新人涌入的时候，更有一种‘一定要把我们的社团壮大’的感觉。
星期三和旧、新成员们一起练习，我们也多了一些乐器演奏者，比如法国号和低音提琴，而且他们特别会融入大环境，第一天练习就很顺手～
有了这样积极的环境，真心希望大家都能继续参与每星期的练习。
至于本人的strings section，我真的应努力去提升自己，这样组员面对什么问题的时候，我才能给予建设性的建议。
赶工
沮丧的是，明明是自己的major，可是连一个term paper也写得乱七八糟。
这几天都在日夜赶工，只为在今天交上作业。
虽然很难过，加上哲学课mid term的成绩很不如意，但是想想看，有了这些的失败，才知道下学期要往哪方面施力。
需要读很多很多的论文和材料，英文也要加强。
生命里的错过，有时连弥补的机会都没有。错过了这个学期的IR课，没有发挥到最好，就没有机会重来。
依赖
重心不稳的人需要抓住救命稻草，可是救命稻草难道不也是下一个危机和崩解的预示吗？
能够依赖的只有自己，这是大部分时间里的情况。
没有人能够将你从你那浑浊的思想中解救出来，我也没有那个耐心。
好自为之吧，上天给了你那么多，你为何还要斤斤计较。
很多路的形成都是由太多不可知的外力形成的，并不是你想象的——只要你愿意它就会随你意的进展。
越来越觉得自己是交响乐团家庭的一份子，尤其看见很多新人涌入的时候，更有一种‘一定要把我们的社团壮大’的感觉。
星期三和旧、新成员们一起练习，我们也多了一些乐器演奏者，比如法国号和低音提琴，而且他们特别会融入大环境，第一天练习就很顺手～
有了这样积极的环境，真心希望大家都能继续参与每星期的练习。
至于本人的strings section，我真的应努力去提升自己，这样组员面对什么问题的时候，我才能给予建设性的建议。
赶工
沮丧的是，明明是自己的major，可是连一个term paper也写得乱七八糟。
这几天都在日夜赶工，只为在今天交上作业。
虽然很难过，加上哲学课mid term的成绩很不如意，但是想想看，有了这些的失败，才知道下学期要往哪方面施力。
需要读很多很多的论文和材料，英文也要加强。
生命里的错过，有时连弥补的机会都没有。错过了这个学期的IR课，没有发挥到最好，就没有机会重来。
依赖
重心不稳的人需要抓住救命稻草，可是救命稻草难道不也是下一个危机和崩解的预示吗？
能够依赖的只有自己，这是大部分时间里的情况。
没有人能够将你从你那浑浊的思想中解救出来，我也没有那个耐心。
好自为之吧，上天给了你那么多，你为何还要斤斤计较。
很多路的形成都是由太多不可知的外力形成的，并不是你想象的——只要你愿意它就会随你意的进展。
2014年4月10日星期四
Quiet life
Joining a lot of activities recently, life is busy, but I feel that it is quiet at the same time.
Maybe I have reduced time to be with my friends, but it's still okay, I like what I am doing now.
Fell sick today but went through two horrible tests. Calculus, I screwed it up.
Have to admit the fact that some people are just better in problem solving. Math isn't my strength.
I should improve my writing and speaking skills now. The latter has seen huge progress after going through philosophy and international relations class.
Attended the peer support group meeting yesterday, but felt extremely uncomfortable in that group. I would give it a try for a few more times, but if that isn't working I'm going to switch to another day/session. The problem isn't the content, but the people. There was this over assertive girl who made the session her own little playground and this is what I dislike most. People who look like they are all good and positive but they are not really so. How could you fail to be attentive to your group member's speech when you are devoting yourself to a peer counselling and discussion session?
Some people should learn to listen. That is the basic of counselling. Don't talk so much about yourself, people will soon be tired of listening about you, you, and you.
Maybe I have reduced time to be with my friends, but it's still okay, I like what I am doing now.
Fell sick today but went through two horrible tests. Calculus, I screwed it up.
Have to admit the fact that some people are just better in problem solving. Math isn't my strength.
I should improve my writing and speaking skills now. The latter has seen huge progress after going through philosophy and international relations class.
Attended the peer support group meeting yesterday, but felt extremely uncomfortable in that group. I would give it a try for a few more times, but if that isn't working I'm going to switch to another day/session. The problem isn't the content, but the people. There was this over assertive girl who made the session her own little playground and this is what I dislike most. People who look like they are all good and positive but they are not really so. How could you fail to be attentive to your group member's speech when you are devoting yourself to a peer counselling and discussion session?
Some people should learn to listen. That is the basic of counselling. Don't talk so much about yourself, people will soon be tired of listening about you, you, and you.
2014年4月2日星期三
Sigh
Although waking up in the midnight doing stuff is just too miserable but I have managed to finish everything in one hour.
Should not be angry because I have to handle a mess.
We cannot control what others impose on us but we can choose to be at peace with it.
After venting in a blogpost prior to my work, I decided to take that post down.
I think I would be happier if I just demand myself to do better instead of hoping that the others would follow my steps.
It's not that bad after all. Must get used to solving crises.
No making excuses and blaming other people for a team's failure. They can choose to be indifferent if they want to, but I believe every responsible member will have time to sort out the whole thing. So I have the time, just that I need to put in disproportionate effort. Question yourself on how to optimize rather than doing your part and in the end suffer from a bigger loss.
No use being angry and still have to wipe others' asses.
Cut the front part and give it your best. At least you can answer to yourself.
Others? They will learn their lesson in the future. Don't bother to waste time giving them a lesson.
You have to know that the later a person learns about life's lessons, the more trouble he/she is going to get into.
Should not be angry because I have to handle a mess.
We cannot control what others impose on us but we can choose to be at peace with it.
After venting in a blogpost prior to my work, I decided to take that post down.
I think I would be happier if I just demand myself to do better instead of hoping that the others would follow my steps.
It's not that bad after all. Must get used to solving crises.
No making excuses and blaming other people for a team's failure. They can choose to be indifferent if they want to, but I believe every responsible member will have time to sort out the whole thing. So I have the time, just that I need to put in disproportionate effort. Question yourself on how to optimize rather than doing your part and in the end suffer from a bigger loss.
No use being angry and still have to wipe others' asses.
Cut the front part and give it your best. At least you can answer to yourself.
Others? They will learn their lesson in the future. Don't bother to waste time giving them a lesson.
You have to know that the later a person learns about life's lessons, the more trouble he/she is going to get into.
2014年3月30日星期日
And there are some people that say we shouldn't post RIP.
They want to keep on praying and they think posting RIP is too pessimistic.
But hey, just be rational for a second okay?
I don't know if you are truly feeling bad or just wanting more likes,
but I really dislike your statement.
Even if the plane landed on dry land, do you think there is still hope after more than two weeks of search and rescue?
Have some common sense, please.
Do not think that rational people don't have empathy.
We feel bad too, but you should not be accusing people of being cruel just because we recognize the fact.
So stupid.
But hey, just be rational for a second okay?
I don't know if you are truly feeling bad or just wanting more likes,
but I really dislike your statement.
Even if the plane landed on dry land, do you think there is still hope after more than two weeks of search and rescue?
Have some common sense, please.
Do not think that rational people don't have empathy.
We feel bad too, but you should not be accusing people of being cruel just because we recognize the fact.
So stupid.
2014年3月25日星期二
今天本来想要写一篇自省的文章
可是我很暴躁！！！
整天在神游！！！因为今天凌晨2点爬起来搞报告！！！
他妈的！！！！
结果今天连讲师点名我都没有回应！！！
搞得要我身边的帅哥提醒我！！！糗！！！
帅哥你是好人！！！
然后现在我想睡想到要死
因为刚刚8.30pm才结束乐团练习！！！
组员们你们最好当天要来表演喔！！FFK的话就够力了，我这次破釜沉舟好不好！！！
我很想睡觉！！！！！！
我听见我床的呼唤！！！！
可是我不能睡！！！！！
因为有报告要赶！！！！！
最讨厌群组作业了！！！！
苍天啊啊啊啊！！！！！
整天在神游！！！因为今天凌晨2点爬起来搞报告！！！
他妈的！！！！
结果今天连讲师点名我都没有回应！！！
搞得要我身边的帅哥提醒我！！！糗！！！
帅哥你是好人！！！
然后现在我想睡想到要死
因为刚刚8.30pm才结束乐团练习！！！
组员们你们最好当天要来表演喔！！FFK的话就够力了，我这次破釜沉舟好不好！！！
我很想睡觉！！！！！！
我听见我床的呼唤！！！！
可是我不能睡！！！！！
因为有报告要赶！！！！！
最讨厌群组作业了！！！！
苍天啊啊啊啊！！！！！
Sendiri cipta sendiri syok
这句话就是用来形容我们的教育部的。
我个人不会因为讨厌政府就鄙视MPU课程（对一般人来说，政府规定的课程=没有用，洗脑课）。
第一个学期的MPU课我觉得很值得，因为和政治学有关。
但是这个学期上的课简直就是浪费老子的时间。
我不能理解我们教育部决策者的非凡思维，
为什么硬是要逼迫大专生去读伊斯兰和亚洲文明？
你要么就把中学时期的历史教程编好，要么就少来这些动作。
或许教育部只是嫌一些非政府学校学生读的历史不符合他们想象中 ideal的历史。
好吧既然如此，那我们就让你蹂躏吧，
可起码课本也编得有诚意一点好不好！
美其名曰亚洲文明，
其实根本就没有什么看头。
对于他人文明的缺乏理解和缺乏融会贯通，
导致编者把facts都叠在一起，再推给学生消化。
你expect一个完全不懂中国历史的人知道什么叫做四书五经？
你太他妈逗了。
强迫学生学习，有效吗？
上课的时光多么痛苦，讲师努力教课，学生们却乱成一团。
其实我最主要的投诉重点还是国文课。
教育部expect那些国文基础几乎为零（又或者没有考国文科）的学生被强迫上为期三个月的课程……
然后逼得学生们要投机取巧，
讲师也走回国民型中学金玉其外败絮其中的报告方式，
只求学生把报告搞得美美的，妥妥的，
内容不实也不太紧要。
还强制我们要找很多张照片写报告。
然后上层的官员看见首批学生学习成果丰硕，就在那里sendiri syok。
下课后太累睡着，半夜爬起来赶报告。真是太刺激了。
教育，如果只是浪费学生的时间，
那国家也就没有救了。
我个人不会因为讨厌政府就鄙视MPU课程（对一般人来说，政府规定的课程=没有用，洗脑课）。
第一个学期的MPU课我觉得很值得，因为和政治学有关。
但是这个学期上的课简直就是浪费老子的时间。
我不能理解我们教育部决策者的非凡思维，
为什么硬是要逼迫大专生去读伊斯兰和亚洲文明？
你要么就把中学时期的历史教程编好，要么就少来这些动作。
或许教育部只是嫌一些非政府学校学生读的历史不符合他们想象中 ideal的历史。
好吧既然如此，那我们就让你蹂躏吧，
可起码课本也编得有诚意一点好不好！
美其名曰亚洲文明，
其实根本就没有什么看头。
对于他人文明的缺乏理解和缺乏融会贯通，
导致编者把facts都叠在一起，再推给学生消化。
你expect一个完全不懂中国历史的人知道什么叫做四书五经？
你太他妈逗了。
强迫学生学习，有效吗？
上课的时光多么痛苦，讲师努力教课，学生们却乱成一团。
其实我最主要的投诉重点还是国文课。
教育部expect那些国文基础几乎为零（又或者没有考国文科）的学生被强迫上为期三个月的课程……
然后逼得学生们要投机取巧，
讲师也走回国民型中学金玉其外败絮其中的报告方式，
只求学生把报告搞得美美的，妥妥的，
内容不实也不太紧要。
还强制我们要找很多张照片写报告。
然后上层的官员看见首批学生学习成果丰硕，就在那里sendiri syok。
下课后太累睡着，半夜爬起来赶报告。真是太刺激了。
教育，如果只是浪费学生的时间，
那国家也就没有救了。
2014年3月21日星期五
Rejected
This is only morning time but I received two bad news.
The first one, my scheduled interview with my lecturer for our course assignment had to be cancelled because my group partner was involved in a car accident. (luckily he was safe and sound)
So, when I went to email to check my conversation with my lecturer, and
I found this email from NW uni....
And of course I am being rejected.
To be frank, the few months I spent writing my college essays were really hectic, and tension was always my loyal friend.
I don't think I wrote competent essays, and this feeling of missing out the most decisive moment in life really sucks.
That's why I treat my current courses super-seriously because I don't want to feel like not giving 100% and blaming myself for that later.
(Well, I did put a lot of effort last year into uni application, but maybe the determination and confidence to get into uni just aren't strong enough, plus my credentials are a disadvantage, so I could brace myself for what is going to come in the next few weeks)...
Don't feel like talking about this to any friend except for my gang here in ADP
(especially when all decisions are out)
I think they will probably shrug it off, since they are all going to do transfer anyway.
I know people will give consolation such as, you've done your best, and these decisions are not the end of the world...
Yeah but in the short term rejections purely mean that you've screwed up the applications and you are the one solely responsible for that.
Recognizing this actually makes one feel better.
Think of it, if I really have to do transfer, then I only have around 10 months left to achieve improvement, especially the eloquence in English writing and the maturity of ideas.
The first one, my scheduled interview with my lecturer for our course assignment had to be cancelled because my group partner was involved in a car accident. (luckily he was safe and sound)
So, when I went to email to check my conversation with my lecturer, and
I found this email from NW uni....
And of course I am being rejected.
To be frank, the few months I spent writing my college essays were really hectic, and tension was always my loyal friend.
I don't think I wrote competent essays, and this feeling of missing out the most decisive moment in life really sucks.
That's why I treat my current courses super-seriously because I don't want to feel like not giving 100% and blaming myself for that later.
(Well, I did put a lot of effort last year into uni application, but maybe the determination and confidence to get into uni just aren't strong enough, plus my credentials are a disadvantage, so I could brace myself for what is going to come in the next few weeks)...
Don't feel like talking about this to any friend except for my gang here in ADP
(especially when all decisions are out)
I think they will probably shrug it off, since they are all going to do transfer anyway.
I know people will give consolation such as, you've done your best, and these decisions are not the end of the world...
Yeah but in the short term rejections purely mean that you've screwed up the applications and you are the one solely responsible for that.
Recognizing this actually makes one feel better.
Think of it, if I really have to do transfer, then I only have around 10 months left to achieve improvement, especially the eloquence in English writing and the maturity of ideas.
2014年3月19日星期三
从何说起
最近的心情时好时坏啦
不过很幸运的有很多死党陪着
有吃饭党，有花痴党，有废话党等等
朋友真的炒鸡重要啊
还好我分布在社交、读书和睡觉的时间算是平衡
社交的部分少了一点点
对付出时间比较吝啬
一直觉得自己做的不够
时时刻刻提醒自己FINALS有多么难
尤其当一个学期要应付5个科目（虽然有两个是可以混的）
应该要尽全力去努力
这样即使多么不如意也不会觉得对不起自己（会委屈？）
至于期待，这是个可以让生活灿烂也可以让生活惨淡的词
平淡才是最好的态度
不管是对学业，还是对感情
本来有满腹的话想说
可是等时间过去了又觉得没有抱怨的必要
报告超多的，都想要挂掉了
没什么好更新的
然后我还喜欢上我的同学
结果我朋友帮我查他的时间表
哈哈～我即使掌握了他的行踪也懒的去制造偶遇吧
人家欣赏你，早就会很明显的表现出来
有些事情需要双方的回应
所以还是别自个儿傻傻的去扑空
不过很幸运的有很多死党陪着
有吃饭党，有花痴党，有废话党等等
朋友真的炒鸡重要啊
还好我分布在社交、读书和睡觉的时间算是平衡
社交的部分少了一点点
对付出时间比较吝啬
一直觉得自己做的不够
时时刻刻提醒自己FINALS有多么难
尤其当一个学期要应付5个科目（虽然有两个是可以混的）
应该要尽全力去努力
这样即使多么不如意也不会觉得对不起自己（会委屈？）
至于期待，这是个可以让生活灿烂也可以让生活惨淡的词
平淡才是最好的态度
不管是对学业，还是对感情
本来有满腹的话想说
可是等时间过去了又觉得没有抱怨的必要
报告超多的，都想要挂掉了
没什么好更新的
然后我还喜欢上我的同学
结果我朋友帮我查他的时间表
哈哈～我即使掌握了他的行踪也懒的去制造偶遇吧
人家欣赏你，早就会很明显的表现出来
有些事情需要双方的回应
所以还是别自个儿傻傻的去扑空
2014年3月17日星期一
Defamation
Well, well.
I didn't expect a student so popular and seemed poised to be a leader could do such a thing to my lecturer.
Although I personally do not agree with everything she teaches us, including some bahasa grammar which I am pretty good in, but please give facts and not lies when you want to debate something.
You could well address the fact that her teaching is more exam-orientated and does not really help in improving a student's language proficiency.
But put yourself in her shoes, what could you do better?
It's very hard to teach students with different levels of language proficiency.
If you always come late to class, then perhaps you are not qualified to give any comments though your thoughts might be sound and true.
She isn't 'not teaching' okay.
And I thought based on what you told us privately, you wanted to reflect the fact that it might be hard for some students to learn under this lecturer. (Plus she doesn't explain concisely for better understanding sometimes. Coz the LEVELS OF STUDENTS ARE DIFFERENT!)
Couldn't you just phrase everything nicely?
I really thought that you wanted to help some of our classmates who are struggling to pass this subject. When I first mentioned about long term solutions, you said that the most important thing is for us to tackle the current learning problem.
What you have done is not a solution at all.
Might as well never do it.
Bring real change, not defamation.
I didn't expect a student so popular and seemed poised to be a leader could do such a thing to my lecturer.
Although I personally do not agree with everything she teaches us, including some bahasa grammar which I am pretty good in, but please give facts and not lies when you want to debate something.
You could well address the fact that her teaching is more exam-orientated and does not really help in improving a student's language proficiency.
But put yourself in her shoes, what could you do better?
It's very hard to teach students with different levels of language proficiency.
If you always come late to class, then perhaps you are not qualified to give any comments though your thoughts might be sound and true.
She isn't 'not teaching' okay.
And I thought based on what you told us privately, you wanted to reflect the fact that it might be hard for some students to learn under this lecturer. (Plus she doesn't explain concisely for better understanding sometimes. Coz the LEVELS OF STUDENTS ARE DIFFERENT!)
Couldn't you just phrase everything nicely?
I really thought that you wanted to help some of our classmates who are struggling to pass this subject. When I first mentioned about long term solutions, you said that the most important thing is for us to tackle the current learning problem.
What you have done is not a solution at all.
Might as well never do it.
Bring real change, not defamation.
2014年3月16日星期日
混乱星期日
UMich又发电邮来提醒我，我的申请不被过目，好像是个人资料提交问题= =！
不是都交齐了么哼！
等下他们那里一天亮我就要马上去质问他们了
现在要忙学会的招生表演、数学测验、BM报告等等等
刚刚去bengkel praktikal脚软回家
我觉得我还是不要驾驶比较好，虽然上手很快，但是我很粗心
天阴下雨，一切烦躁的事情也迎面而来
要挺住呀啊
沉住气的一个一个解决掉切勿毛躁
再怎么糟糕也不会糟到哪里去的
顶多不是丢了一些、少了一些东西而已
总会失而复得的
（尤其是针对大学申请，一直很担忧最糟糕的情况来临，不过何必折磨自己呢。即使最后要transfer，也没很差呀，至少还能和我的狐朋狗友混个一年）
数学测验完毕后就是交响乐团的招生活动
这次有点经验，让组员们上台表演
而我们的booth不需要太花俏 :)
把2月用过的布置再拿出来看看能不能利用
星期二就可以看到A同学啦！
你的笑容是对我最大的鼓舞！
天色暗了，是时候回去做事了……
不是都交齐了么哼！
等下他们那里一天亮我就要马上去质问他们了
现在要忙学会的招生表演、数学测验、BM报告等等等
刚刚去bengkel praktikal脚软回家
我觉得我还是不要驾驶比较好，虽然上手很快，但是我很粗心
天阴下雨，一切烦躁的事情也迎面而来
要挺住呀啊
沉住气的一个一个解决掉切勿毛躁
再怎么糟糕也不会糟到哪里去的
顶多不是丢了一些、少了一些东西而已
总会失而复得的
（尤其是针对大学申请，一直很担忧最糟糕的情况来临，不过何必折磨自己呢。即使最后要transfer，也没很差呀，至少还能和我的狐朋狗友混个一年）
数学测验完毕后就是交响乐团的招生活动
这次有点经验，让组员们上台表演
而我们的booth不需要太花俏 :)
把2月用过的布置再拿出来看看能不能利用
星期二就可以看到A同学啦！
你的笑容是对我最大的鼓舞！
天色暗了，是时候回去做事了……
2014年3月15日星期六
Fell for a friend?
Who is not even considered as a really close friend...
I am always very slow to know my feelings...
And it was one class after that fateful day that I started to see him in a different perspective.
I have zero resistance to people that are more intelligent than me,
And perhaps that day it was his one question that had me falling for him...
Not gonna reveal that question though lol
I like his eyes. And the way he slightly lowers his head when he asked that question was too much for my weak heart...
Didn't reveal much about him here,
but I still find it very mushy...
I'm not used to writing my feelings directly
Maybe it is the weather that makes me a bit abnormal
[ field trip ]
Went for a field trip with my friends for half day and luckily the haze cleared off as if to smoothen outright outing. We visited the Selangor Islamic arts complex and admired some expensive art pieces there...
Sadly all of us were too focused on not getting lost and also finding lunch that we forgot to take some group selfies...
But I guess that isn't important, as long as we had a really good time...
We don't need to show off right.
I am always very slow to know my feelings...
And it was one class after that fateful day that I started to see him in a different perspective.
I have zero resistance to people that are more intelligent than me,
And perhaps that day it was his one question that had me falling for him...
Not gonna reveal that question though lol
I like his eyes. And the way he slightly lowers his head when he asked that question was too much for my weak heart...
Didn't reveal much about him here,
but I still find it very mushy...
I'm not used to writing my feelings directly
Maybe it is the weather that makes me a bit abnormal
[ field trip ]
Went for a field trip with my friends for half day and luckily the haze cleared off as if to smoothen outright outing. We visited the Selangor Islamic arts complex and admired some expensive art pieces there...
Sadly all of us were too focused on not getting lost and also finding lunch that we forgot to take some group selfies...
But I guess that isn't important, as long as we had a really good time...
We don't need to show off right.
2014年3月14日星期五
烟霾，以及迷蒙中的美丽意外
别问我标题是什么意思，就如村上的《世界尽头与冷酷仙境》，其实不过是语感美而已。
今天的烟霾很严重，我已经戴口罩去上课……
在炎热天气下转车到campus，结果吃午饭的时候得知下午的课全取消
我今天本来就是为了一小时的课特地出门的
现在竟然取消掉
API差不多200了吧
话说很多人都把口罩有颜色的一面戴在外
我很疑惑，白色那面是filter，现在你要避环境的污染分子，当然要把白色戴在外头呀！
除非是你生病不想传染其他人，那你就可以把青色那面戴在外
不去理解真正的戴法，戴到窒息最后也只是徒劳
下星期是我们这一batch学生的科目注册日，所以我今天特地跑去找我的adviser预定时间
（注册日之前必须定好和adviser的会面时间，方便她办事）
结果我就撞见A同学了耶
撞见了耶哦呵呵呵呵～
原来我们是在相同adviser之下的（他是社会学系的嘛）
哇如果他今天成功注册了美国政府这个科目，就代表这热门课没有爆满
为了下学期能够上到这个我期待很久的课（也很喜欢那个讲师）
我就预定了下星期最早的注册时间
那么A同学就可以继续当我的同桌哈哈哈
同学你太可爱了，爷欣赏你
今天的烟霾很严重，我已经戴口罩去上课……
在炎热天气下转车到campus，结果吃午饭的时候得知下午的课全取消
我今天本来就是为了一小时的课特地出门的
现在竟然取消掉
API差不多200了吧
话说很多人都把口罩有颜色的一面戴在外
我很疑惑，白色那面是filter，现在你要避环境的污染分子，当然要把白色戴在外头呀！
除非是你生病不想传染其他人，那你就可以把青色那面戴在外
不去理解真正的戴法，戴到窒息最后也只是徒劳
下星期是我们这一batch学生的科目注册日，所以我今天特地跑去找我的adviser预定时间
（注册日之前必须定好和adviser的会面时间，方便她办事）
结果我就撞见A同学了耶
撞见了耶哦呵呵呵呵～
原来我们是在相同adviser之下的（他是社会学系的嘛）
哇如果他今天成功注册了美国政府这个科目，就代表这热门课没有爆满
为了下学期能够上到这个我期待很久的课（也很喜欢那个讲师）
我就预定了下星期最早的注册时间
那么A同学就可以继续当我的同桌哈哈哈
同学你太可爱了，爷欣赏你
2014年3月13日星期四
2014年3月12日星期三
I don't want to look at you anymore
I don't know if it's your arrogance or introvertness.
But you seem very hostile and indifferent.
In the BM class, you are always sticking with your BFF and I found it damn hard to communicate with both of you.
Well, Mabel is better, but when it comes to communication of three, she also leaves me out.
I don't understand the mentality of you guys, so I decided to leave the group of three for our two major assignments.
Which translates as freedom for me and hot water for you.
How funny it is when people do not know their limitations and inabilities and think of themselves as superior.
You guys have attitude problem. Seriously.
And it's less than two weeks from the deadline. I bet you haven't finished the individual assignment too.
I am tired of having to remind you two about the deadline.
And I was so goddamn pissed off today when you responded to my reminder that you thought it is only two people per group?
Oh fck, so you didn't know that I was with your group from the very beginning of this class?
Is my presence so insignificant to you?
Who did the previous presentations?
Who translated the fcking difficult BM passage for you?
Show some respect lah.
Sometimes when you are cordial and kind to everyone around you, you tend to persuade yourself that he or she does not have bad intention/attitude.
But you also have to learn to give people the disrespect that they deserve.
Or else you'll end up with little confidence, thinking that everything that happens is your own fault.
So I made a very strong decision on the spot to find another group mate, and luckily I found this guy that is also trying to find a partner.
His attitude is better and he's responsible.
Happily leaving my ex-groupmates to fck themselves.
Don't come wailing at me when you cannot hand in your work on the duedate.
You'd better change that forever-sulky face of yours or else you are going to end up confined in your small circle and pissing the initially helpful people around you.
Think you're cool? We'll see.
But you seem very hostile and indifferent.
In the BM class, you are always sticking with your BFF and I found it damn hard to communicate with both of you.
Well, Mabel is better, but when it comes to communication of three, she also leaves me out.
I don't understand the mentality of you guys, so I decided to leave the group of three for our two major assignments.
Which translates as freedom for me and hot water for you.
How funny it is when people do not know their limitations and inabilities and think of themselves as superior.
You guys have attitude problem. Seriously.
And it's less than two weeks from the deadline. I bet you haven't finished the individual assignment too.
I am tired of having to remind you two about the deadline.
And I was so goddamn pissed off today when you responded to my reminder that you thought it is only two people per group?
Oh fck, so you didn't know that I was with your group from the very beginning of this class?
Is my presence so insignificant to you?
Who did the previous presentations?
Who translated the fcking difficult BM passage for you?
Show some respect lah.
Sometimes when you are cordial and kind to everyone around you, you tend to persuade yourself that he or she does not have bad intention/attitude.
But you also have to learn to give people the disrespect that they deserve.
Or else you'll end up with little confidence, thinking that everything that happens is your own fault.
So I made a very strong decision on the spot to find another group mate, and luckily I found this guy that is also trying to find a partner.
His attitude is better and he's responsible.
Happily leaving my ex-groupmates to fck themselves.
Don't come wailing at me when you cannot hand in your work on the duedate.
You'd better change that forever-sulky face of yours or else you are going to end up confined in your small circle and pissing the initially helpful people around you.
Think you're cool? We'll see.
2014年3月10日星期一
Pinyin failed again, everything failing, sibeh failed morning
The title is the indicator of author went insane.
Google pinyin failed again...
What I'm doing this whole morning is basically trying to sort how to do a good student discussion.
Shit, why did we choose Syria crisis at the first time?
I can make a pretty informative presentation but discussion is very different.
How are you going to prompt the others to reflect and ask?
That's a problem.
At the same time I need to get familiar with the calculus syllabus.
Whole night yesterday spent on making sense of chapter 3...
Thanks for the help that my uncle has provided...
I'm not good at math and science so I guess I should just stick firmly to social science/ humanities courses.
I don't care how we get the derivatives and calculate all sort of weird graphs, albeit it is important for real world applications.
So lost now. I don't think my members would ever want to consult lecturer on how to generate the class discussion, maybe because of pride?
It's graded and we don't know if asking for help would affect the marks.
But either way we're in hot water too.
The taste of IR is really bitter, but it's a good experience.
At least we emerge as heroic and tragedic fighters, taking the most challenging course with highest fail record in ADP history.
And at leaaaast I am being pushed to investigate and analyze the Syria crisis, something that is not fun at all.
Oil, gas, pipelines. Veto, intervention, failed talks.
Obama, Putin, Assad. Qatar, Turkey, Iran.
Aaaaarggghhhh.
Google pinyin failed again...
What I'm doing this whole morning is basically trying to sort how to do a good student discussion.
Shit, why did we choose Syria crisis at the first time?
I can make a pretty informative presentation but discussion is very different.
How are you going to prompt the others to reflect and ask?
That's a problem.
At the same time I need to get familiar with the calculus syllabus.
Whole night yesterday spent on making sense of chapter 3...
Thanks for the help that my uncle has provided...
I'm not good at math and science so I guess I should just stick firmly to social science/ humanities courses.
I don't care how we get the derivatives and calculate all sort of weird graphs, albeit it is important for real world applications.
So lost now. I don't think my members would ever want to consult lecturer on how to generate the class discussion, maybe because of pride?
It's graded and we don't know if asking for help would affect the marks.
But either way we're in hot water too.
The taste of IR is really bitter, but it's a good experience.
At least we emerge as heroic and tragedic fighters, taking the most challenging course with highest fail record in ADP history.
And at leaaaast I am being pushed to investigate and analyze the Syria crisis, something that is not fun at all.
Oil, gas, pipelines. Veto, intervention, failed talks.
Obama, Putin, Assad. Qatar, Turkey, Iran.
Aaaaarggghhhh.
2014年3月9日星期日
2014年3月8日星期六
Idiots, idiots everywhere. #prayforMH370
经过MH370航班事件，可以看出哪些专页和哪些朋友是真的白痴或者无聊到极点。
某FB专页让我恼火，除了傻逼逼的一直发假消息，还在飞机被确认失踪于海域时发布RIP的照片，令人无法理解。
最白痴的是，不断的要有关当局拿出实证，一整个看上去就像泼妇一样。
你妹的，就事论事，你想指责当局办事不力没问题，可是人家就是找不到残骸，你嚷个屁啊？
另外，还有一个亲民联的专业很脑残，就是不断的要把一切政治化，看了让人默哀，大马不仅掉了飞机，还有人掉了大脑。
而我另外一个对时事（过度）敏感的友人，她的状态已经充斥我的newsfeed，忍无可忍之下我只能把她的动态关闭。
我欣赏你关心此新闻的态度，可是我也看到你那充满报复性的评论。
这是我很无法接受的，我觉得一个人再怎么有见解，没素质也是不可取的。
2014年3月7日星期五
2014年3月5日星期三
Yi Shi Wu Cheng
Campus mac doesn't have the Google pinyin so I have to blog using english which is not exactly comfortable for me when I really need to vent.
The next class which is pretty useless MPU BKA is half an hour away.
Spending two damn hours twice a week is a waste of time.
I could have put the time to better use, and this is why Malaysia isn't seeing any progress since most policies are halting real improvements.
Okay, so I will stop lashing out at the government now and start lashing myself instead.
Yesterday's philosophy test really wore me out for no reason. Maybe I used my brains too much.
The weariness will continue to last for a few days, a prediction deduced from my previous experiences.
Today, I spent about one an a half hour getting hit by volleyball at the court in this hot weather.
Hurting my limbs plus menstruating were not fun at all.
I did not have any cramps so I decided to proceed with the game.
The sports tournament this semester is too hasty, with no time left for newbies to even practice a sport.
I signed up for volleyball because I don't want to waste my club registration money.
Paying RM25 just to get the shirt and become a representative in badminton is not worthy.
So, I learnt some skills in two week, but still have a hard time to receive shots from over the net.
It hurt a lot during the first week and I got scary bruises. They say time heals (??), and just like playing violin, the torture is making you numb and your body is used to it.
It's good knowing that you still can contribute by being a substitute, which the team really appreciates when it desperately needs players to join games (sometimes players couldn't attend games because of classes).
I hate being a liability. The feeling sucks, and seeing others trying to give you confidence is so touching and frustrating at the same time.
Aside from not having any talent at all in sports, I also fare damn bad in maths.
I managed to understand the workings of the implicit differentiation. I know some science/math bitch would reply like, this topic is no big deal at all plus a puzzled smiley face, but hey, I am Che Rui and I suck in maths okay?
If you do not have the brains, put in extra effort, just like what Bernard Shaw did.
Our only wish is to not be 'common'.
Different people have different purpose of life.
Some want enjoyment, some want to get enslaved to capitalism, and some just want to be 'uncommon'.
If one cannot stand out (in whatever field), then what meaning does life have?
Besides not doing good in any specific field, I also feel so intimidated in IR.
There are plenty of people with more insight and knowledge of international affairs. Makes me wonder what differentiate one amass so many bright people.
How is one considered excellent in IR? Does it require only interest but not talent?
If I have nothing, I will work my ass off to gain SOMETHING.
I have to constantly scare myself to the max so I can be motivated enough to be extra hardworking.
The next class which is pretty useless MPU BKA is half an hour away.
Spending two damn hours twice a week is a waste of time.
I could have put the time to better use, and this is why Malaysia isn't seeing any progress since most policies are halting real improvements.
Okay, so I will stop lashing out at the government now and start lashing myself instead.
Yesterday's philosophy test really wore me out for no reason. Maybe I used my brains too much.
The weariness will continue to last for a few days, a prediction deduced from my previous experiences.
Today, I spent about one an a half hour getting hit by volleyball at the court in this hot weather.
Hurting my limbs plus menstruating were not fun at all.
I did not have any cramps so I decided to proceed with the game.
The sports tournament this semester is too hasty, with no time left for newbies to even practice a sport.
I signed up for volleyball because I don't want to waste my club registration money.
Paying RM25 just to get the shirt and become a representative in badminton is not worthy.
So, I learnt some skills in two week, but still have a hard time to receive shots from over the net.
It hurt a lot during the first week and I got scary bruises. They say time heals (??), and just like playing violin, the torture is making you numb and your body is used to it.
It's good knowing that you still can contribute by being a substitute, which the team really appreciates when it desperately needs players to join games (sometimes players couldn't attend games because of classes).
I hate being a liability. The feeling sucks, and seeing others trying to give you confidence is so touching and frustrating at the same time.
Aside from not having any talent at all in sports, I also fare damn bad in maths.
I managed to understand the workings of the implicit differentiation. I know some science/math bitch would reply like, this topic is no big deal at all plus a puzzled smiley face, but hey, I am Che Rui and I suck in maths okay?
If you do not have the brains, put in extra effort, just like what Bernard Shaw did.
Our only wish is to not be 'common'.
Different people have different purpose of life.
Some want enjoyment, some want to get enslaved to capitalism, and some just want to be 'uncommon'.
If one cannot stand out (in whatever field), then what meaning does life have?
Besides not doing good in any specific field, I also feel so intimidated in IR.
There are plenty of people with more insight and knowledge of international affairs. Makes me wonder what differentiate one amass so many bright people.
How is one considered excellent in IR? Does it require only interest but not talent?
If I have nothing, I will work my ass off to gain SOMETHING.
I have to constantly scare myself to the max so I can be motivated enough to be extra hardworking.
2014年3月4日星期二
头昏的一天
哲学课真是让人难受，今天讲师不在，结果我们在学长的监督下完成了1小时半的测验
我感觉自己的字数达不到标准啊
然后第一篇作文简直就是胡言乱语
我花了所有的时间答题，而很多同学进场写写一下就交卷离开了
难道是我太认真了吗啊啊啊？
测完后我整个人空虚了下来，脚步好像踩在浮云上面（不是轻松，而是没精神）
昨天才睡了4小时半
也不是因为读书的关系
反正回家已经很晚了，又搞这搞那的时间就没有了
每个星期二早上（6.45am妈呀）又是跟邻居一块去学院的嘛
所以就不够睡了
好累哦，不过测验完毕还是挺开心的，少了烦心事
不过还有很多的报告要完成，尤其是IR的特别麻烦
3点下课后就吃午饭，这是第一次这么迟吃饭
本来有两个半小时的间隙
但是我头已经塞不下什么东西了
早上莫名的下了两场雨把烟霾都刷走了
以为一整天都会很冷没想到又热回来
结果只能跑来图书馆避难
一天又过去了，而我，似乎没有真正完成什么
这一点一滴就是生活的微分
能够造就什么公式
靠的就是这些积分了
我感觉自己的字数达不到标准啊
然后第一篇作文简直就是胡言乱语
我花了所有的时间答题，而很多同学进场写写一下就交卷离开了
难道是我太认真了吗啊啊啊？
测完后我整个人空虚了下来，脚步好像踩在浮云上面（不是轻松，而是没精神）
昨天才睡了4小时半
也不是因为读书的关系
反正回家已经很晚了，又搞这搞那的时间就没有了
每个星期二早上（6.45am妈呀）又是跟邻居一块去学院的嘛
所以就不够睡了
好累哦，不过测验完毕还是挺开心的，少了烦心事
不过还有很多的报告要完成，尤其是IR的特别麻烦
3点下课后就吃午饭，这是第一次这么迟吃饭
本来有两个半小时的间隙
但是我头已经塞不下什么东西了
早上莫名的下了两场雨把烟霾都刷走了
以为一整天都会很冷没想到又热回来
结果只能跑来图书馆避难
一天又过去了，而我，似乎没有真正完成什么
这一点一滴就是生活的微分
能够造就什么公式
靠的就是这些积分了
2014年3月2日星期日
严酷三月
除了气温好像蒸笼一样，学习方面也越来越令人头疼～
在这个糟糕的天气中，真是需要很坚持很清醒才能啃完一篇又一篇的学术文章= =
IR课出现了危机，那个有算分的student-led discussion就要开始了，而第一组好像浑然不知那样。
还好我是第二组，大概下个星期二就要把我们组会讨论的新闻放在面子书的群组上面。
讲师在他一开学就整理好的网上文件内声明，discussion的相关资料必须在presentation前的一星期半上载到面子书群组给同学们阅读。我们的presentation日期大概是在3/13，不过因为之前取消了一堂课，所以我们组的日期应该会延迟。算来算去，下个星期二刚刚好啊！
好惊险，幸亏我临时提醒组员，不然就要被扣分了。
顺便也提醒一下那个可怜的第一组吧。
哲学课的测验就要来了，一个半小时两篇作文，大家一起抱着死吧
后星期是数学课的测验，是个大炸弹，因为讲师已经奔向第四课而全班还滞留在第二、三课摸不清头脑的状态中……
可是那些同学虽然平时一副听不明白的样子，测验出来的分数还是过得去的……
后星期我们有field trip，到时一组十个人要去islamic arts center和全东南亚最大的沙亚南苏丹萨拉胡丁回教堂，到时我需要包头叻哈哈哈哈～
真是期待
现在要做的是找各种叙利亚危机的资料！！！虽然我们是俄罗斯组但是我们的题目是realpolitik!!!!所以要探讨俄罗斯在叙利亚危机里的角色！！！哭！
在这个糟糕的天气中，真是需要很坚持很清醒才能啃完一篇又一篇的学术文章= =
IR课出现了危机，那个有算分的student-led discussion就要开始了，而第一组好像浑然不知那样。
还好我是第二组，大概下个星期二就要把我们组会讨论的新闻放在面子书的群组上面。
讲师在他一开学就整理好的网上文件内声明，discussion的相关资料必须在presentation前的一星期半上载到面子书群组给同学们阅读。我们的presentation日期大概是在3/13，不过因为之前取消了一堂课，所以我们组的日期应该会延迟。算来算去，下个星期二刚刚好啊！
好惊险，幸亏我临时提醒组员，不然就要被扣分了。
顺便也提醒一下那个可怜的第一组吧。
哲学课的测验就要来了，一个半小时两篇作文，大家一起抱着死吧
后星期是数学课的测验，是个大炸弹，因为讲师已经奔向第四课而全班还滞留在第二、三课摸不清头脑的状态中……
可是那些同学虽然平时一副听不明白的样子，测验出来的分数还是过得去的……
后星期我们有field trip，到时一组十个人要去islamic arts center和全东南亚最大的沙亚南苏丹萨拉胡丁回教堂，到时我需要包头叻哈哈哈哈～
真是期待
现在要做的是找各种叙利亚危机的资料！！！虽然我们是俄罗斯组但是我们的题目是realpolitik!!!!所以要探讨俄罗斯在叙利亚危机里的角色！！！哭！
2014年2月27日星期四
哲學是個沒有終點的東西
一次一次的哲學討論讓我昏頭轉向
身邊有好多很會思考的人
所以我感覺自己特別特別遲鈍
但是親愛的Ms Singh稱讚過我，無疑給了我很大的鼓勵
雖然自己現有想法可能會在下一次的閱讀中被完全否決
但是那煩惱的過程形成我們對哲學課的感情
（她今天問我以前上過哲學課嗎？我笑說沒有。其實在我心裡，哲學這個東西自從年幼就開始紮根了）
想當初，根本就不明白為什麼我們要去讀那些理論
可是想起測驗需要寫兩篇議論文
我於是開始一直去圖書館找資料
我想，這個學期結束後，圖書館裡100-150號的希臘哲學書籍大概會被我看完
我們的社會不太重視人文，有關書籍數量相對的很少
我想我摸得到哲學的尾巴了
connection比fact重要
我們永遠要探究‘為什麼’
因為每一個新理論的出現都是取自前人的經驗，或加以發展或致力推翻
我永遠不會忘記自己提出那個傻逼問題時，講師那亮起來的眼神
“為什麼原子論者把世間萬物的構造總結成性質和模樣相同的原子？
為什麼他們不接受Empedocles提出的四個基本元素？”
身邊有好多很會思考的人
所以我感覺自己特別特別遲鈍
但是親愛的Ms Singh稱讚過我，無疑給了我很大的鼓勵
雖然自己現有想法可能會在下一次的閱讀中被完全否決
但是那煩惱的過程形成我們對哲學課的感情
（她今天問我以前上過哲學課嗎？我笑說沒有。其實在我心裡，哲學這個東西自從年幼就開始紮根了）
想當初，根本就不明白為什麼我們要去讀那些理論
可是想起測驗需要寫兩篇議論文
我於是開始一直去圖書館找資料
我想，這個學期結束後，圖書館裡100-150號的希臘哲學書籍大概會被我看完
我們的社會不太重視人文，有關書籍數量相對的很少
我想我摸得到哲學的尾巴了
connection比fact重要
我們永遠要探究‘為什麼’
因為每一個新理論的出現都是取自前人的經驗，或加以發展或致力推翻
我永遠不會忘記自己提出那個傻逼問題時，講師那亮起來的眼神
“為什麼原子論者把世間萬物的構造總結成性質和模樣相同的原子？
為什麼他們不接受Empedocles提出的四個基本元素？”
2014年2月24日星期一
狀況不佳的一天
今天6.30am就和鄰居的孩子一起去campus了
從早上7點滴水不進的定坐在study room神遊+做點事
現在的戰況是又餓又冷
就連溫暖的室外對我來說也像北極嚴寒
今天估計是抽風了
本打算趁早上呆在study room好好的做點溫習
可是昨天搞哲學搞太夜
結果現在就悲劇了
根本沒心情做事啊
又卡在那種不知道要吃早餐還是午餐的時間點
然後還得想辦法去整理一些明天就要提交的群組作業資料
果然天生只能是玩樂的料子，硬是要裝學霸就注定悲劇
不過餓+冷會讓人腦子特別特別清醒喔
反正我覺得我指尖敲出來的字句特別有味道
內容是蠻枯燥的啦
就是在分析俄羅斯和烏克蘭的愛恨情仇唄
剛剛手賤還上豆瓣看人家寫直播一下下
看到一個讓人可歌可泣的單戀故事
我突然就醒了
別問我對愛情有什麼感悟啊
我的感悟就是沒有感悟
小朋友們別浪費時間在思考這種沒有用的問題上面啦
該來的我們攤手迎接，不該留的就撒手放開～～～
人生多歡樂，啦啦啦～
我看我真的是冷到傻了。
從早上7點滴水不進的定坐在study room神遊+做點事
現在的戰況是又餓又冷
就連溫暖的室外對我來說也像北極嚴寒
今天估計是抽風了
本打算趁早上呆在study room好好的做點溫習
可是昨天搞哲學搞太夜
結果現在就悲劇了
根本沒心情做事啊
又卡在那種不知道要吃早餐還是午餐的時間點
然後還得想辦法去整理一些明天就要提交的群組作業資料
果然天生只能是玩樂的料子，硬是要裝學霸就注定悲劇
不過餓+冷會讓人腦子特別特別清醒喔
反正我覺得我指尖敲出來的字句特別有味道
內容是蠻枯燥的啦
就是在分析俄羅斯和烏克蘭的愛恨情仇唄
剛剛手賤還上豆瓣看人家寫直播一下下
看到一個讓人可歌可泣的單戀故事
我突然就醒了
別問我對愛情有什麼感悟啊
我的感悟就是沒有感悟
小朋友們別浪費時間在思考這種沒有用的問題上面啦
該來的我們攤手迎接，不該留的就撒手放開～～～
人生多歡樂，啦啦啦～
我看我真的是冷到傻了。
2014年2月21日星期五
超不爽的
IR第一次測驗的分數是25.3/30，84%
換成GPA的話就是3.3啊，B+啊！！！
可惡啊啊啊啊
原來，IR最高紀錄GPA3.3是個永遠打不破的神話！！！！
我目前只能並肩，不知道能不能超越！！！！！
講師發明的測驗系統很精明啊！！！！
还剩一小时的时间，我只能把Miletus philosophers的资料做个总结
明天6点起床，要读一个章节的globalization
去跑步
12点活动结束后回家，休息一下，查资料把state strategy和pd matrix写好
接着继续总结所有的哲学家论点
剩下的时间就把数学A1-3复习好
睡觉前读globalization
目前最需要完成的书本其实是story of philosophy和Sophie's world
換成GPA的話就是3.3啊，B+啊！！！
可惡啊啊啊啊
原來，IR最高紀錄GPA3.3是個永遠打不破的神話！！！！
我目前只能並肩，不知道能不能超越！！！！！
講師發明的測驗系統很精明啊！！！！
还剩一小时的时间，我只能把Miletus philosophers的资料做个总结
明天6点起床，要读一个章节的globalization
去跑步
12点活动结束后回家，休息一下，查资料把state strategy和pd matrix写好
接着继续总结所有的哲学家论点
剩下的时间就把数学A1-3复习好
睡觉前读globalization
目前最需要完成的书本其实是story of philosophy和Sophie's world
2014年2月13日星期四
完美主義！！！！！！！
提心吊膽了兩星期，終於迎來我們組的presentation!
雖然老師稱讚我們做的不錯，但我還是不禁會去思考有些解釋得不清楚的地方。
我覺得我可能讓一些同學無法明了，這讓我很困擾……………………
完美主義者就是活受罪啊
老師的意思是，她教過這麼多學期，一般選到Xenophanes這個哲學家的學生都只會做一個簡短的呈現，畢竟學術界的人都不太重視他。
可是老師你要知道啊，我們這組是玩命組，你給我們一個對象，我們會想盡辦法挖出所有網上論文和資料去表現出來的～
我都不知道翻過多少古希臘哲學的學術文章（= =+）
或許是讓大家看到了一個完全不同的Xenophanes，所以才得到了老師的認可吧！
今天呈現的時候我和組員都戴鬍子當道具，
老師的評語是：很像土匪……………………
嗚嗚嗚嗚早知道我包頭巾就好了……………………
最近睡眠嚴重不足，偏偏傍晚的課開始了
男神新年回來有點殘哦，然後我們都是眼神交流根本就沒有對話啊哈哈
誰叫這次的MPU課（伊斯蘭和亞洲文明）把所有學生放在一班
結果一大班同學就在大講堂上課，我們都要扭頭、抬頭才能和其他同學交流
不過，此男神只是一道美麗的風景，真正的男神，另有他人哦
（什麼邏輯？？？
另一個MPU的課就還好，是BM，老師很開朗然後計劃帶我們出外遊玩什麼的
感覺這學期選的課很難，週末或者有空檔時都要要好好的溫習功課
熟讀一些希臘哲學家的理論（畢竟老師沒有教課，只是由同學負責呈現，我擔心他們資料有疏漏，影響到我們的備考）
順便準備一下國際關係課兩個月後的期中考論文（老師今天讓我們評一篇作文的分數，那篇其實是他臨時寫的；我們的評分標準高，結果老師就決定用那個標準來給我們打分！！好邪惡啊！！！不作死就不會死啊啊啊哭瞎……）
我要IR拿A！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
雖然老師稱讚我們做的不錯，但我還是不禁會去思考有些解釋得不清楚的地方。
我覺得我可能讓一些同學無法明了，這讓我很困擾……………………
完美主義者就是活受罪啊
老師的意思是，她教過這麼多學期，一般選到Xenophanes這個哲學家的學生都只會做一個簡短的呈現，畢竟學術界的人都不太重視他。
可是老師你要知道啊，我們這組是玩命組，你給我們一個對象，我們會想盡辦法挖出所有網上論文和資料去表現出來的～
我都不知道翻過多少古希臘哲學的學術文章（= =+）
或許是讓大家看到了一個完全不同的Xenophanes，所以才得到了老師的認可吧！
今天呈現的時候我和組員都戴鬍子當道具，
老師的評語是：很像土匪……………………
嗚嗚嗚嗚早知道我包頭巾就好了……………………
最近睡眠嚴重不足，偏偏傍晚的課開始了
男神新年回來有點殘哦，然後我們都是眼神交流根本就沒有對話啊哈哈
誰叫這次的MPU課（伊斯蘭和亞洲文明）把所有學生放在一班
結果一大班同學就在大講堂上課，我們都要扭頭、抬頭才能和其他同學交流
不過，此男神只是一道美麗的風景，真正的男神，另有他人哦
（什麼邏輯？？？
另一個MPU的課就還好，是BM，老師很開朗然後計劃帶我們出外遊玩什麼的
感覺這學期選的課很難，週末或者有空檔時都要要好好的溫習功課
熟讀一些希臘哲學家的理論（畢竟老師沒有教課，只是由同學負責呈現，我擔心他們資料有疏漏，影響到我們的備考）
順便準備一下國際關係課兩個月後的期中考論文（老師今天讓我們評一篇作文的分數，那篇其實是他臨時寫的；我們的評分標準高，結果老師就決定用那個標準來給我們打分！！好邪惡啊！！！不作死就不會死啊啊啊哭瞎……）
我要IR拿A！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
2014年2月9日星期日
没有钱就不快乐
有一天，第欧根尼（希腊哲学家）在小镇上躺着进行日光浴。作为一个享乐主义派哲学家，他的生活却是意外的简陋。
亚历山大大帝特意驾到此人所属的考林特小镇，可基于第欧根尼迟迟不肯出面会晤皇帝，亚历山大只得亲身前往拜访。
见一贫如洗的第欧根尼悠闲的晒着太阳，亚历山大大帝对此人不问世俗不喜权财的态度深感好奇，不禁询问他：你的愿望到底是什么呢？让我替你实现吧。
第欧根尼眯了眯眼，答道：好的，我请你别遮挡阳光。
我们都不是如此清高的人。我们需要金钱，尤其是在贫富差距日益悬殊的社会中，没有积蓄就只能被排挤和欺压。达尔文的理论是正确的，即使人类异于其他动物，我们还是保留着原始的竞争/淘汰倾向。
没有钱，真的可以快乐吗？
有些人觉得，肯定不行啊。
我不说不行，因为确实有人没钱也过得很快乐。
重点是，你到底在追求快乐或是追求物质、感官享受。
希望我们不管在什么情境下，都能顺应天命，萃取快乐。
亚历山大大帝特意驾到此人所属的考林特小镇，可基于第欧根尼迟迟不肯出面会晤皇帝，亚历山大只得亲身前往拜访。
见一贫如洗的第欧根尼悠闲的晒着太阳，亚历山大大帝对此人不问世俗不喜权财的态度深感好奇，不禁询问他：你的愿望到底是什么呢？让我替你实现吧。
第欧根尼眯了眯眼，答道：好的，我请你别遮挡阳光。
我们都不是如此清高的人。我们需要金钱，尤其是在贫富差距日益悬殊的社会中，没有积蓄就只能被排挤和欺压。达尔文的理论是正确的，即使人类异于其他动物，我们还是保留着原始的竞争/淘汰倾向。
没有钱，真的可以快乐吗？
有些人觉得，肯定不行啊。
我不说不行，因为确实有人没钱也过得很快乐。
重点是，你到底在追求快乐或是追求物质、感官享受。
希望我们不管在什么情境下，都能顺应天命，萃取快乐。
2014年2月8日星期六
2014.2.7- 2.8
聚会～感觉大家很亏啊
都是我的错～
这几天要抓紧机会温习功课啦
不过动力不够啊
所以开学后呢
我要每天早早去campus
坐在study room那里扮学霸
很谢谢买蛋糕和手链给我的李大姐
还有唱生日歌的同学们
花费很多力气才把手链戴上，卡在手腕刚刚好，不会一直上下滑动
最近在找俄罗斯相关的政治/国际政策网站
官方的网站废话都很多哦，不过对掌握最新动态很有帮助
而那种international politics官网又有很多euphemism
看了等于没看，就像去吃除夕/过年晚宴，排场那么大，结果回家后腹部依旧不饱满的空落感
希望能够读好数学
还要想办法找时间练琴
因为新的课时太糟糕了
一星期有四天要留在campus到傍晚/晚上
太晚了不能练琴扰邻
但每天一定要持续练习
唯一的办法就是自己制作隔音物品或者用muter
这样的话，清晨半夜都能练习了
都是我的错～
这几天要抓紧机会温习功课啦
不过动力不够啊
所以开学后呢
我要每天早早去campus
坐在study room那里扮学霸
很谢谢买蛋糕和手链给我的李大姐
还有唱生日歌的同学们
花费很多力气才把手链戴上，卡在手腕刚刚好，不会一直上下滑动
最近在找俄罗斯相关的政治/国际政策网站
官方的网站废话都很多哦，不过对掌握最新动态很有帮助
而那种international politics官网又有很多euphemism
看了等于没看，就像去吃除夕/过年晚宴，排场那么大，结果回家后腹部依旧不饱满的空落感
希望能够读好数学
还要想办法找时间练琴
因为新的课时太糟糕了
一星期有四天要留在campus到傍晚/晚上
太晚了不能练琴扰邻
但每天一定要持续练习
唯一的办法就是自己制作隔音物品或者用muter
这样的话，清晨半夜都能练习了
2014年2月5日星期三
哎，明天
明天我要拿麦克风在全部人面前推销我的社团
其实历届招生活动好像都办得很简单（我们社团啦
可是今年丢给我这么一个新人做
然后大大们都回乡过节或者苦逼上课着
我根本没有头绪，好像空中建城堡
快沦落成巴比伦人了
说上台做直销吧，我的组员说他不敢
搞设计吧，组员们又说自己是雄性，没有艺术细胞（呃，两者其实没有直接关系
这次的人手少，只有区区5人
我身为组长不可能在大众面前sia sui自己的社团对吧
所以这几天过完节后都没来得及享受（比起其他学生）多一星期的年假
就直接不要老命的低头耕田
话说昨天睡不够今天眼睛却特别大特别有神这到底是怎么回事（貌似一向来都是这样？
组里的人不太回应我，而我们只能透过网络交流讨论，所以整个过程是很辛苦的
今天我组织一个小会议，结果只有一个人来，他是个很热心的印裔同学，多亏有他帮忙
组里其他人都是我的senior……怎么能见死不救啊
或许他们当天活动能过来帮忙，我就应该跪谢上天了……
（有一个学长今天恰逢别人的葬礼，不能来开会……该说什么呢……好像不管说什么都不对劲喔……全部人鸦雀无声……
（所以呢我就说I'm sorry about that，又不敢问他是谁，问了嫌八卦，不问又为难……
（然后我很贱的问他，你星期四会过来吧？？
（自扇耳光
刚刚我开启电脑跟同学讨论东西的时候
屏幕上的Sticky notes大大的写着 long term target reduce weight
丢脸丢到家喔
话说我给豆瓣的高手们分析一下我应该怎么挽救形象
结果人家都说我一定要减肥
还有要摘掉眼镜
有人说我太老气不像19岁 哇啊你说话真特么的直接啊
哦对了老娘还真是19岁了 听上去真虚幻 我还感觉自己是永远的小孩子
最后总结出来就是 1先减肥 2不要戴眼镜（不行啊）3肤质+发质保养 4服饰方面要注意 5化妆（这个不可行）
好吧，我真是太无聊了。
还是好好的搞活动做功课考驾照减肥学外语，吧。
其实历届招生活动好像都办得很简单（我们社团啦
可是今年丢给我这么一个新人做
然后大大们都回乡过节或者苦逼上课着
我根本没有头绪，好像空中建城堡
快沦落成巴比伦人了
说上台做直销吧，我的组员说他不敢
搞设计吧，组员们又说自己是雄性，没有艺术细胞（呃，两者其实没有直接关系
这次的人手少，只有区区5人
我身为组长不可能在大众面前sia sui自己的社团对吧
所以这几天过完节后都没来得及享受（比起其他学生）多一星期的年假
就直接不要老命的低头耕田
话说昨天睡不够今天眼睛却特别大特别有神这到底是怎么回事（貌似一向来都是这样？
组里的人不太回应我，而我们只能透过网络交流讨论，所以整个过程是很辛苦的
今天我组织一个小会议，结果只有一个人来，他是个很热心的印裔同学，多亏有他帮忙
组里其他人都是我的senior……怎么能见死不救啊
或许他们当天活动能过来帮忙，我就应该跪谢上天了……
（有一个学长今天恰逢别人的葬礼，不能来开会……该说什么呢……好像不管说什么都不对劲喔……全部人鸦雀无声……
（所以呢我就说I'm sorry about that，又不敢问他是谁，问了嫌八卦，不问又为难……
（然后我很贱的问他，你星期四会过来吧？？
（自扇耳光
刚刚我开启电脑跟同学讨论东西的时候
屏幕上的Sticky notes大大的写着 long term target reduce weight
丢脸丢到家喔
话说我给豆瓣的高手们分析一下我应该怎么挽救形象
结果人家都说我一定要减肥
还有要摘掉眼镜
有人说我太老气不像19岁 哇啊你说话真特么的直接啊
哦对了老娘还真是19岁了 听上去真虚幻 我还感觉自己是永远的小孩子
最后总结出来就是 1先减肥 2不要戴眼镜（不行啊）3肤质+发质保养 4服饰方面要注意 5化妆（这个不可行）
好吧，我真是太无聊了。
还是好好的搞活动做功课考驾照减肥学外语，吧。
2014年2月1日星期六
2014年1月28日星期二
潮不代表有品位
有时早上搭车或午后归家，都会在公车上遇到一个某某department的女讲师。
她是个外国人，短短的金发，苗条的身材，散发着平易近人的气质。
一看见她，我就想起Samantha Brown，可以去参考一下。
她们俩气场相似，最重要的是，她也和Sam一样特别会服装搭配。
当一条街都是穿着白色蕾丝或雪纺连衣裙的女人时，像她这种随意一件上衣配修身长裤的女性就会显得特别出众。
潮流就是盲目从众；即使衣物合身，久而久之还是难免显得俗气。
或许当某件单品已经流行得大家都在穿，就代表应该将之淘汰了。
无法了解自己的特长，进而加以发挥，又怎么能够让他人折服欣赏呢？
所谓的潮流，就是上层的品味已经渗入‘民间’。就像Freakonomics里提到的，连名字也有这种趋势，由上流社会慢慢的流入中层，进而变成普遍。当大家潜意识里的崇尚贵气致使他们追随时尚时，最上层的人士已经放弃了这种品位，开始随自己的喜好接着创造另一波潮流。
品位这个词，总让我想起随性的法国女人。
法国人很少用名牌，但他们的街拍一看就看出其质量和气质。
女讲师那天的一双达芙妮黑色凉鞋搭上正规红的指甲油颜色，低调的夺目让人难以忘怀。
这就是品位啊。
她是个外国人，短短的金发，苗条的身材，散发着平易近人的气质。
一看见她，我就想起Samantha Brown，可以去参考一下。
她们俩气场相似，最重要的是，她也和Sam一样特别会服装搭配。
当一条街都是穿着白色蕾丝或雪纺连衣裙的女人时，像她这种随意一件上衣配修身长裤的女性就会显得特别出众。
潮流就是盲目从众；即使衣物合身，久而久之还是难免显得俗气。
或许当某件单品已经流行得大家都在穿，就代表应该将之淘汰了。
无法了解自己的特长，进而加以发挥，又怎么能够让他人折服欣赏呢？
所谓的潮流，就是上层的品味已经渗入‘民间’。就像Freakonomics里提到的，连名字也有这种趋势，由上流社会慢慢的流入中层，进而变成普遍。当大家潜意识里的崇尚贵气致使他们追随时尚时，最上层的人士已经放弃了这种品位，开始随自己的喜好接着创造另一波潮流。
品位这个词，总让我想起随性的法国女人。
法国人很少用名牌，但他们的街拍一看就看出其质量和气质。
女讲师那天的一双达芙妮黑色凉鞋搭上正规红的指甲油颜色，低调的夺目让人难以忘怀。
这就是品位啊。
2014年1月26日星期日
2014年1月22日星期三
乐观的悲观主义者
这是我一向对自己的形容。
曾经觉得我可以完全接受某个人，但是到最后才发现，其实活在这个世界上，很多情绪最后都是留给自己。
我学会了忍，虽说我以前就很会忍
我已经不会冲动的去做一件事
很多想呐喊的话语都深深埋葬在心底
心的底部变成一个垃圾场
日子很简单嘛，和朋友们嬉笑打闹，抑或一个人安静的做事，这就是快乐
但人和月亮一样，总有阴暗的一面
也会有对精神契合的需求
当你必须隐藏这两个部分的时候，你还是照样能开心过活，但那是比较空虚不圆满的快乐
又或者，那只是其中一种不满足？
都说了，得不到的永远在骚动
为什么我会写这么一个看似高深但实际空洞的贴子呢？
我不清楚，我只是发现我最近太能够忍了
孩子，你又怎么能够强求世界按你的意愿转动呢。
曾经觉得我可以完全接受某个人，但是到最后才发现，其实活在这个世界上，很多情绪最后都是留给自己。
我学会了忍，虽说我以前就很会忍
我已经不会冲动的去做一件事
很多想呐喊的话语都深深埋葬在心底
心的底部变成一个垃圾场
日子很简单嘛，和朋友们嬉笑打闹，抑或一个人安静的做事，这就是快乐
但人和月亮一样，总有阴暗的一面
也会有对精神契合的需求
当你必须隐藏这两个部分的时候，你还是照样能开心过活，但那是比较空虚不圆满的快乐
又或者，那只是其中一种不满足？
都说了，得不到的永远在骚动
为什么我会写这么一个看似高深但实际空洞的贴子呢？
我不清楚，我只是发现我最近太能够忍了
孩子，你又怎么能够强求世界按你的意愿转动呢。
好大的一颗鸭梨啊
压力压力～其实是良性的压力吧
昨天的第一堂哲学课让我相当郁闷，虽然座位编排得像圆桌会议但是气氛还是很死啊！
果然亚洲人就是这么呆板吗！
我的advisor是课讲师，她一针见血的说法真的超级厉害！
感觉智商深深不足以应付课程……
原来，我之前读哲学时的自我感觉良好都是幻象
but既然都努力过了，那就摆正心态面对这个巨大挑战
讲师这学期列出的参考书单中，《苏菲的世界》我已经读了1/3
刚刚好囊括了古代哲学家的范围
加上假期里读了一点苏格拉底，大概有点适应古希腊哲学了
突然觉得，纵然我喜欢近现代哲学家，但是讲师着重于古希腊也是有好处的，毕竟我之前做的（偶然的）准备都碰巧是和那群哲学家有关的～
本来以为国关和微积分是最压力的课程，所以才选了哲学课当调剂的‘配菜’（课程内容很客观，本来是打算加入吹吹水的）
没想到，国关无压力，微积分目前还只是处于基本阶段
哲学才是最难的……失算了……
昨天的第一堂哲学课让我相当郁闷，虽然座位编排得像圆桌会议但是气氛还是很死啊！
果然亚洲人就是这么呆板吗！
我的advisor是课讲师，她一针见血的说法真的超级厉害！
感觉智商深深不足以应付课程……
原来，我之前读哲学时的自我感觉良好都是幻象
but既然都努力过了，那就摆正心态面对这个巨大挑战
讲师这学期列出的参考书单中，《苏菲的世界》我已经读了1/3
刚刚好囊括了古代哲学家的范围
加上假期里读了一点苏格拉底，大概有点适应古希腊哲学了
突然觉得，纵然我喜欢近现代哲学家，但是讲师着重于古希腊也是有好处的，毕竟我之前做的（偶然的）准备都碰巧是和那群哲学家有关的～
本来以为国关和微积分是最压力的课程，所以才选了哲学课当调剂的‘配菜’（课程内容很客观，本来是打算加入吹吹水的）
没想到，国关无压力，微积分目前还只是处于基本阶段
哲学才是最难的……失算了……
2014年1月20日星期一
好人
不知道我已经叨叨了多少次，我是数学课上唯一的女生……
其实也没怎样，说不上倒霉。
我前后左右都是好人，同桌是个热情的男生，上课的时候精神抖擞的写笔记，然后问很多看上去很高端实际没意义的问题来扰乱讲师。
今天和同桌拿手机号码结果被他开玩笑，我整个人囧掉（我拿电话号码不是要追你啊同学，清醒点！）
不过还好大家的关系也慢慢的变融洽，甚至坐我前面那个PJ还跟我一起去洗手间囧
好奇怪……
同桌，就叫他山兄吧（和名字有关），后来给我发信息，我突然后悔给他我的手机号码
教训啊！！！！！！
反正他是那种很正规很勤奋很热心但是有一点小怪的人
不过好在有他的热情，班上的同学才能打成一片
看来，突破尴尬和陌生最好的方式就是主动
今天我做了一次好人，学院的公车比预计时间早离开，之前有老师告诉过我，其实可以跑到校园外的住宅区去搭rapidKL（碰巧这几天守卫处的系统坏掉，所以没有住户证也可以从学校直接跑过去PJS7的住宅区……）
所以今天我不例外的又决定跑出去坐公车
去之前，在学校里的等候处看见一个愁眉苦脸的帅哥
思索片刻，我上前问他要去哪里，结果他和我都是前往同样路线
结果我们就出去搭车啦
然后从英语聊成华语
他是东马人，说话竟然有台湾腔，超好笑的（据说是打工时经常接触台湾人同事的缘故）
后来才知道J同学是读酒店管理的，他今天西装笔挺的和我一起等车，整个画面很不协调
这身规定的西服让学生们很困扰，天气热的时候更难过
他还笑我是不是担心一个人搭车危险才招他一起过来
哇！！你需要这样糟蹋我的好意吗？早知道给你干等一小时哼
J同学很好心的给我一点内部消息，他告诉我只要找够4个人，每人只要12令吉就可以在酒店管理学院名下的高级餐厅吃一个full course meal
啊啊啊！！！为什么我不知道！！！谢谢你大哥！！！谢谢！！
妈蛋竟然还比其他的餐厅便宜叻还是全套西餐！！！
不知道会不会遇到J同学在实习？？
哎我的新学期怎么一直都和男生混@_@
除了IR一堂课之外，其他课的战友都是男生……
倒……
为什么微积分课本那么重！还每天都要带！！摔！！！
-附：coursera的课开始了！！-
终于啊，等了很久……
可是我退出了耶鲁大学的课，因为感觉很闷，不懂是我笨还是怎么样……
现在列表里有一堂课是意大利大学教授开的，听他的口音我真是头大！！
上次也是听日本教授讲课，但口音方面感觉比这个老先生要好很多～
这个意大利大学的名字叫做Sapienza，我直译为‘聪明大学’哈哈哈！（被打
老教授的建筑史课，60%的分数来自大考（作文），突然觉得应该好好的去找资料了/.\
都是丹布朗让我对意大利建筑产生浓厚的兴趣，虽然他的故事都是（有根据的）胡扯啦
其实也没怎样，说不上倒霉。
我前后左右都是好人，同桌是个热情的男生，上课的时候精神抖擞的写笔记，然后问很多看上去很高端实际没意义的问题来扰乱讲师。
今天和同桌拿手机号码结果被他开玩笑，我整个人囧掉（我拿电话号码不是要追你啊同学，清醒点！）
不过还好大家的关系也慢慢的变融洽，甚至坐我前面那个PJ还跟我一起去洗手间囧
好奇怪……
同桌，就叫他山兄吧（和名字有关），后来给我发信息，我突然后悔给他我的手机号码
教训啊！！！！！！
反正他是那种很正规很勤奋很热心但是有一点小怪的人
不过好在有他的热情，班上的同学才能打成一片
看来，突破尴尬和陌生最好的方式就是主动
今天我做了一次好人，学院的公车比预计时间早离开，之前有老师告诉过我，其实可以跑到校园外的住宅区去搭rapidKL（碰巧这几天守卫处的系统坏掉，所以没有住户证也可以从学校直接跑过去PJS7的住宅区……）
所以今天我不例外的又决定跑出去坐公车
去之前，在学校里的等候处看见一个愁眉苦脸的帅哥
思索片刻，我上前问他要去哪里，结果他和我都是前往同样路线
结果我们就出去搭车啦
然后从英语聊成华语
他是东马人，说话竟然有台湾腔，超好笑的（据说是打工时经常接触台湾人同事的缘故）
后来才知道J同学是读酒店管理的，他今天西装笔挺的和我一起等车，整个画面很不协调
这身规定的西服让学生们很困扰，天气热的时候更难过
他还笑我是不是担心一个人搭车危险才招他一起过来
哇！！你需要这样糟蹋我的好意吗？早知道给你干等一小时哼
J同学很好心的给我一点内部消息，他告诉我只要找够4个人，每人只要12令吉就可以在酒店管理学院名下的高级餐厅吃一个full course meal
啊啊啊！！！为什么我不知道！！！谢谢你大哥！！！谢谢！！
妈蛋竟然还比其他的餐厅便宜叻还是全套西餐！！！
不知道会不会遇到J同学在实习？？
哎我的新学期怎么一直都和男生混@_@
除了IR一堂课之外，其他课的战友都是男生……
倒……
为什么微积分课本那么重！还每天都要带！！摔！！！
-附：coursera的课开始了！！-
终于啊，等了很久……
可是我退出了耶鲁大学的课，因为感觉很闷，不懂是我笨还是怎么样……
现在列表里有一堂课是意大利大学教授开的，听他的口音我真是头大！！
上次也是听日本教授讲课，但口音方面感觉比这个老先生要好很多～
这个意大利大学的名字叫做Sapienza，我直译为‘聪明大学’哈哈哈！（被打
老教授的建筑史课，60%的分数来自大考（作文），突然觉得应该好好的去找资料了/.\
都是丹布朗让我对意大利建筑产生浓厚的兴趣，虽然他的故事都是（有根据的）胡扯啦
2014年1月19日星期日
2014年1月16日星期四
Classes running smoothly
2014 isn't going to be a bad year.
Regardless of the seemingly negative fengshui and horoscope predictions, my life is going on perfectly well. Screw those crap la.
Philosophy class no lecturer. Dunno if she's stuck in some other country having vacation or what, but this week will end without her greeting us.
Viewed all the course outlines just before my very first class which was on yesterday, and I find myself loathing the PHIL 101 course.
I have hoped that we could learn more about contemporary philosophers or existentialism (love it), but the lecturer seems obsessed with pre-historic philosophers and Socrates.
I don't have an idea what 'pre-historic' philosophers actually mean, but it's not sounding right.
Cavemen???
IR class was better a lot more. I know that it's considered a suicidal course and a lot of students dropped the subject after the intro week (scared to hell by the term papers and the ingenious quiz format). My seniors brainwashed me to not sacrifice my grades by taking IR but I was quite determined to take it.
So in my introduction, I let Mr Tarosh knew that I took related online course before. A really dumb thing to do because I have raised his expectations.
I didn't remember anything about the course okay? Maybe realism and stuff like that, and also Woodrow Wilson with his liberalism and peace-loving plans of founding League of Nations, which U.S. refrained from joining ironically.
Haha. It will be an interesting course with LOTS OF DEBATES.
*there's a quite clever boy that kept on lamenting on the suicidal aspect of the course and I was pissed off because he wouldn't fail. The only reason he blabbered is because he's worried he couldn't get a 4.0 WTH (the girl sitting next to him was trying to use cool words such as "Japan and the shit they've done in WW2" to impress the lecturer...)
Calculus was still okay but I don't get why those science students (esp engineering student who took A levels before) cannot understand the lecturer's explanations. I was hoping for someone to lean on for the entire course but then it seems like everyone's going to drown. Fine I'll just eat myself.
Looks like I have written quite a nice piece on my courses here.
Yeah and the good news is, while taking showers this morning, I got the sudden inspiration of what to write for BOTH my applications.
What a damn nice day.
Regardless of the seemingly negative fengshui and horoscope predictions, my life is going on perfectly well. Screw those crap la.
Philosophy class no lecturer. Dunno if she's stuck in some other country having vacation or what, but this week will end without her greeting us.
Viewed all the course outlines just before my very first class which was on yesterday, and I find myself loathing the PHIL 101 course.
I have hoped that we could learn more about contemporary philosophers or existentialism (love it), but the lecturer seems obsessed with pre-historic philosophers and Socrates.
I don't have an idea what 'pre-historic' philosophers actually mean, but it's not sounding right.
Cavemen???
IR class was better a lot more. I know that it's considered a suicidal course and a lot of students dropped the subject after the intro week (scared to hell by the term papers and the ingenious quiz format). My seniors brainwashed me to not sacrifice my grades by taking IR but I was quite determined to take it.
So in my introduction, I let Mr Tarosh knew that I took related online course before. A really dumb thing to do because I have raised his expectations.
I didn't remember anything about the course okay? Maybe realism and stuff like that, and also Woodrow Wilson with his liberalism and peace-loving plans of founding League of Nations, which U.S. refrained from joining ironically.
Haha. It will be an interesting course with LOTS OF DEBATES.
*there's a quite clever boy that kept on lamenting on the suicidal aspect of the course and I was pissed off because he wouldn't fail. The only reason he blabbered is because he's worried he couldn't get a 4.0 WTH (the girl sitting next to him was trying to use cool words such as "Japan and the shit they've done in WW2" to impress the lecturer...)
Calculus was still okay but I don't get why those science students (esp engineering student who took A levels before) cannot understand the lecturer's explanations. I was hoping for someone to lean on for the entire course but then it seems like everyone's going to drown. Fine I'll just eat myself.
Looks like I have written quite a nice piece on my courses here.
Yeah and the good news is, while taking showers this morning, I got the sudden inspiration of what to write for BOTH my applications.
What a damn nice day.
2014年1月15日星期三
The start of something... not very new
I didn't even bother to dress up properly for the start of new sem because a nearly-one-month break has washed away the pressure of dolling up before attending classes (especially in ADP).
I could say that most of them look like models, and God knows how many clothes they have in their wardrobes.
8.30am_
ADP foyer_
The normally bustling area is just like Detroit of America. My senior was sitting on the bench with his attention fully on his headphones. Wearing a cap to complete the cool look, he didn't notice me passing by. The second time I passed by, he vehemently raised his head but he still didn't notice me because of that cap.
Met a lot of people whose names I really don't remember (I'm sorry bad memory; I can remember everyone's birthdate but NOT names). It's convenient too coz they don't seem to know me.
Welcome back.
8.40am_
In front of cafeteria_
The moment I opened my laptop was the moment of revelation... that my hair was so messy.
Oh, all the feel-good aura disappeared suddenly.
To have messy hair but not noticing it?
Spotted a nice guy at the cafeteria. A part-timer.
The cycle starts again.
Good-looking guys, heavy textbooks, expensive but tasty meals, cold library.
Memories hitting me in the face.
The start of program and everything related.
GOD BLESS ME WITH NICE CLASSMATES!!!!!!
I could say that most of them look like models, and God knows how many clothes they have in their wardrobes.
8.30am_
ADP foyer_
The normally bustling area is just like Detroit of America. My senior was sitting on the bench with his attention fully on his headphones. Wearing a cap to complete the cool look, he didn't notice me passing by. The second time I passed by, he vehemently raised his head but he still didn't notice me because of that cap.
Met a lot of people whose names I really don't remember (I'm sorry bad memory; I can remember everyone's birthdate but NOT names). It's convenient too coz they don't seem to know me.
Welcome back.
8.40am_
In front of cafeteria_
The moment I opened my laptop was the moment of revelation... that my hair was so messy.
Oh, all the feel-good aura disappeared suddenly.
To have messy hair but not noticing it?
Spotted a nice guy at the cafeteria. A part-timer.
The cycle starts again.
Good-looking guys, heavy textbooks, expensive but tasty meals, cold library.
Memories hitting me in the face.
The start of program and everything related.
GOD BLESS ME WITH NICE CLASSMATES!!!!!!
2014年1月14日星期二
Writer's block.
Everything that I have typed in Word for the college essay just doesn't look right.
It's near the middle of the month, and I really need the deadline to give me some panic feelings to force out whatever inspiration that I have.
It is only up to this point that I finally realized my life is quite boring.
My essay readers might not be very impressed with what I have to offer.
I didn't go to Africa, didn't win some international award, didn't commit myself to a certain volunteer program.
Well, maybe I could include my regrets somewhere, but I'll see whether it's appropriate first.
It's never too late to start.
If those schools were to reject me, I just need to work harder and hope to transfer to a really really good school.
Why so pessimistic LOL.
It's near the middle of the month, and I really need the deadline to give me some panic feelings to force out whatever inspiration that I have.
It is only up to this point that I finally realized my life is quite boring.
My essay readers might not be very impressed with what I have to offer.
I didn't go to Africa, didn't win some international award, didn't commit myself to a certain volunteer program.
Well, maybe I could include my regrets somewhere, but I'll see whether it's appropriate first.
It's never too late to start.
If those schools were to reject me, I just need to work harder and hope to transfer to a really really good school.
Why so pessimistic LOL.
2014年1月13日星期一
The geek
I felt in awe of the variety of books in the library. If I stick to my plan of reading like, three books per week? I might still not be able to finish everything on my to-read list.
It is a day of hunting books, and I do not know if the undergraduate students have class or not because the whole campus is so quiet. Although I sometimes do hate the noisemakers in the library, but it is eerie when there is an absence of human beings.
If my books weren't due I would not be coming back to campus just to visit the library.
But I really miss my on-campus days, so I am glad that classes are starting in a few days' time.
It is only 9am when I glanced at my phone a while ago. Feeling so rich when time passes by slowly. I guess it's because I came to campus early.
When one is in the library, one might have the feeling of superiority over other friends which are loitering or having some fun outside at the same time. However, being around library too much will kind of define you as a geek, which is the opposite of cool kid.
Since when did people start to look down on the possession of knowledge and value meaningless fun more? This culture will eventually push those that are unsure enough to go to the 'cool' side.
Being a geek is fun too, if that is what you enjoy the most.
If you are truly abnormally good in academics, then nobody will look at you as a geek because you are way too brilliant at something which they can never achieve. They might revere you as a, well, prominent and honored geek? (Like the way you see the professor?)
Although being an authentic geek is not-mainstream, an authentic geek will still think that the geek population is kind of large. Maybe geeks only made up 20% of the entire population, but you still feel that they are the majority of humankind when you are in the library.
Too few geeks makes a geek feel lonely and sad, but too many geeks also makes a geek feels uncomfortable.
The geek syndrome?
I don't know what I am blabbering about, but I am definitely feeling lonely because there are too few geeks around me right now.
Sitting in the computer room, typing words in light speed under only one illuminating fluorescent light, it feels like the whole world is sleeping and I am the only one strange enough to be writing crap on my blog.
Wake up and read up, humans.
It is a day of hunting books, and I do not know if the undergraduate students have class or not because the whole campus is so quiet. Although I sometimes do hate the noisemakers in the library, but it is eerie when there is an absence of human beings.
If my books weren't due I would not be coming back to campus just to visit the library.
But I really miss my on-campus days, so I am glad that classes are starting in a few days' time.
It is only 9am when I glanced at my phone a while ago. Feeling so rich when time passes by slowly. I guess it's because I came to campus early.
When one is in the library, one might have the feeling of superiority over other friends which are loitering or having some fun outside at the same time. However, being around library too much will kind of define you as a geek, which is the opposite of cool kid.
Since when did people start to look down on the possession of knowledge and value meaningless fun more? This culture will eventually push those that are unsure enough to go to the 'cool' side.
Being a geek is fun too, if that is what you enjoy the most.
If you are truly abnormally good in academics, then nobody will look at you as a geek because you are way too brilliant at something which they can never achieve. They might revere you as a, well, prominent and honored geek? (Like the way you see the professor?)
Although being an authentic geek is not-mainstream, an authentic geek will still think that the geek population is kind of large. Maybe geeks only made up 20% of the entire population, but you still feel that they are the majority of humankind when you are in the library.
Too few geeks makes a geek feel lonely and sad, but too many geeks also makes a geek feels uncomfortable.
The geek syndrome?
I don't know what I am blabbering about, but I am definitely feeling lonely because there are too few geeks around me right now.
Sitting in the computer room, typing words in light speed under only one illuminating fluorescent light, it feels like the whole world is sleeping and I am the only one strange enough to be writing crap on my blog.
Wake up and read up, humans.
2014年1月11日星期六
烦躁
每次靠近经期的时候，心情就像打了结的毛线一样。
平时性格就很有棱角的我，这时更加像是魔鬼的化身，
粗暴的回应着这个世界。
各种烦躁啊。
烦躁也会衍生出一种动力，让人咬着牙根往前冲。
很多事情乱成一团，可是我知道最后它们总会被解决。
就像去年，感觉事情多到没法应付的时候，最终还是走过来了。
会有一种‘没法应付’的想法，可能是害怕自己没有办法把事情做到最好。
解决问题没有压力，压力在于‘完美的解决问题’。
话说，天气开始越来越热了。
真想念前阵子阴凉的气候。
烦躁的解药就是静心钻研。
远离那些老是给人压力或散发负面情绪的人事物。
这个学期，想要好好珍惜和同学们所剩无几的相处时光。
想要参加多一点活动。
想要努力的把数学考好。
在烦躁的午后里，这些想法带来一阵沁凉。
平时性格就很有棱角的我，这时更加像是魔鬼的化身，
粗暴的回应着这个世界。
各种烦躁啊。
烦躁也会衍生出一种动力，让人咬着牙根往前冲。
很多事情乱成一团，可是我知道最后它们总会被解决。
就像去年，感觉事情多到没法应付的时候，最终还是走过来了。
会有一种‘没法应付’的想法，可能是害怕自己没有办法把事情做到最好。
解决问题没有压力，压力在于‘完美的解决问题’。
话说，天气开始越来越热了。
真想念前阵子阴凉的气候。
烦躁的解药就是静心钻研。
远离那些老是给人压力或散发负面情绪的人事物。
这个学期，想要好好珍惜和同学们所剩无几的相处时光。
想要参加多一点活动。
想要努力的把数学考好。
在烦躁的午后里，这些想法带来一阵沁凉。
2014年1月3日星期五
2014年1月1日星期三
一生一世·跨年
讀書跨年·示威跨年
通常1月1日會先等FB的新年狀態dilute了之後我才重返戰地
看見朋友們喝酒、開趴的照片我突然意識到什麼叫做宅
不過也挺好的
昨晚很疲憊想早睡
但是最終卻躺在床上把沒讀完的課外書看完
了解到原來馬來西亞政府就像墨西哥政府一樣流氓（至少兩國的原住民一樣是被嚴重邊緣化）
差別只是：明目張膽和偷偷摸摸
想起昨晚1231的TURUN和平示威
納茲裡的那副嘴臉又浮現在眼前
作為旅遊與（沒）文化部的部長
他一會說：這些人挑了不對的時間示威，企圖玷污大馬的國際形象（前提是你還有形象？）
一會兒又發作反說：他不擔心這會影響大馬的名譽，這些示威者只會讓本身看起來像猴子
納茲裡缺的不只是良心，他還缺一把鏡子。
用那一慣的不民主口氣諷刺示威者——部長表示：要示威就示威個夠，他會將這些反政府舉動包裝成旅遊產品，給外國遊客看看大馬是多麼的民主。
這難道不像小學導師在訓斥+威脅學生嗎？
民主才進化到這種程度，以致領導者誤以為自己的權利是世襲制，草民只能向權勢低頭。
首相則說RM500的援助金足夠承擔一個家庭（一年？！）的開銷。
被權利蒙蔽雙眼，果然什麼都說得出啊。
祝你們新年快樂，大馬人民會繼續抗爭下去。
新年目標
寫這個沒什麼用
有決心的話，什麼時候都能製作計劃
新年只能算是一個提醒
讓你看看你到底完成了什麼
然後內心的壞小人被好小人打死
好小人邊打邊哭：乃介個魂淡！2013都過了，看看乃都幹了什麼好事！
通常1月1日會先等FB的新年狀態dilute了之後我才重返戰地
看見朋友們喝酒、開趴的照片我突然意識到什麼叫做宅
不過也挺好的
昨晚很疲憊想早睡
但是最終卻躺在床上把沒讀完的課外書看完
了解到原來馬來西亞政府就像墨西哥政府一樣流氓（至少兩國的原住民一樣是被嚴重邊緣化）
差別只是：明目張膽和偷偷摸摸
想起昨晚1231的TURUN和平示威
納茲裡的那副嘴臉又浮現在眼前
作為旅遊與（沒）文化部的部長
他一會說：這些人挑了不對的時間示威，企圖玷污大馬的國際形象（前提是你還有形象？）
一會兒又發作反說：他不擔心這會影響大馬的名譽，這些示威者只會讓本身看起來像猴子
納茲裡缺的不只是良心，他還缺一把鏡子。
用那一慣的不民主口氣諷刺示威者——部長表示：要示威就示威個夠，他會將這些反政府舉動包裝成旅遊產品，給外國遊客看看大馬是多麼的民主。
這難道不像小學導師在訓斥+威脅學生嗎？
民主才進化到這種程度，以致領導者誤以為自己的權利是世襲制，草民只能向權勢低頭。
首相則說RM500的援助金足夠承擔一個家庭（一年？！）的開銷。
被權利蒙蔽雙眼，果然什麼都說得出啊。
祝你們新年快樂，大馬人民會繼續抗爭下去。
新年目標
寫這個沒什麼用
有決心的話，什麼時候都能製作計劃
新年只能算是一個提醒
讓你看看你到底完成了什麼
然後內心的壞小人被好小人打死
好小人邊打邊哭：乃介個魂淡！2013都過了，看看乃都幹了什麼好事！
订阅：
博文 (Atom)