2014年1月28日星期二

潮不代表有品位

有时早上搭车或午后归家,都会在公车上遇到一个某某department的女讲师。
她是个外国人,短短的金发,苗条的身材,散发着平易近人的气质。
一看见她,我就想起Samantha Brown,可以去参考一下。
她们俩气场相似,最重要的是,她也和Sam一样特别会服装搭配。
当一条街都是穿着白色蕾丝或雪纺连衣裙的女人时,像她这种随意一件上衣配修身长裤的女性就会显得特别出众。
潮流就是盲目从众;即使衣物合身,久而久之还是难免显得俗气。
或许当某件单品已经流行得大家都在穿,就代表应该将之淘汰了。
无法了解自己的特长,进而加以发挥,又怎么能够让他人折服欣赏呢?

所谓的潮流,就是上层的品味已经渗入‘民间’。就像Freakonomics里提到的,连名字也有这种趋势,由上流社会慢慢的流入中层,进而变成普遍。当大家潜意识里的崇尚贵气致使他们追随时尚时,最上层的人士已经放弃了这种品位,开始随自己的喜好接着创造另一波潮流。

品位这个词,总让我想起随性的法国女人。
法国人很少用名牌,但他们的街拍一看就看出其质量和气质。
女讲师那天的一双达芙妮黑色凉鞋搭上正规红的指甲油颜色,低调的夺目让人难以忘怀。
这就是品位啊。

2014年1月26日星期日

deadlines

社团主席和大大们都对我很好
所以要付出120%的努力搞好每一个任务
把招会员的ppt做得相当不错,之后要给组员们评估一下,让他们给意见(组长一手包办,然后让组员评估,工作范围好像反了??)
星期二要代表社团出席讲解会
之后就要在过年期间和组员们想办法沟通+处理招生事务

作文一直写写停停,心理压力是有的
唉怎么办,失败啊
今天一定要挤出来

2014年1月22日星期三

乐观的悲观主义者

这是我一向对自己的形容。
曾经觉得我可以完全接受某个人,但是到最后才发现,其实活在这个世界上,很多情绪最后都是留给自己。
我学会了忍,虽说我以前就很会忍
我已经不会冲动的去做一件事
很多想呐喊的话语都深深埋葬在心底
心的底部变成一个垃圾场

日子很简单嘛,和朋友们嬉笑打闹,抑或一个人安静的做事,这就是快乐
但人和月亮一样,总有阴暗的一面
也会有对精神契合的需求
当你必须隐藏这两个部分的时候,你还是照样能开心过活,但那是比较空虚不圆满的快乐
又或者,那只是其中一种不满足?
都说了,得不到的永远在骚动

为什么我会写这么一个看似高深但实际空洞的贴子呢?
我不清楚,我只是发现我最近太能够忍了
孩子,你又怎么能够强求世界按你的意愿转动呢。

好大的一颗鸭梨啊

压力压力~其实是良性的压力吧
昨天的第一堂哲学课让我相当郁闷,虽然座位编排得像圆桌会议但是气氛还是很死啊!
果然亚洲人就是这么呆板吗!
我的advisor是课讲师,她一针见血的说法真的超级厉害!
感觉智商深深不足以应付课程……
原来,我之前读哲学时的自我感觉良好都是幻象
but既然都努力过了,那就摆正心态面对这个巨大挑战
讲师这学期列出的参考书单中,《苏菲的世界》我已经读了1/3
刚刚好囊括了古代哲学家的范围
加上假期里读了一点苏格拉底,大概有点适应古希腊哲学了
突然觉得,纵然我喜欢近现代哲学家,但是讲师着重于古希腊也是有好处的,毕竟我之前做的(偶然的)准备都碰巧是和那群哲学家有关的~

本来以为国关和微积分是最压力的课程,所以才选了哲学课当调剂的‘配菜’(课程内容很客观,本来是打算加入吹吹水的)
没想到,国关无压力,微积分目前还只是处于基本阶段
哲学才是最难的……失算了……

2014年1月20日星期一

好人

不知道我已经叨叨了多少次,我是数学课上唯一的女生……
其实也没怎样,说不上倒霉。
我前后左右都是好人,同桌是个热情的男生,上课的时候精神抖擞的写笔记,然后问很多看上去很高端实际没意义的问题来扰乱讲师。
今天和同桌拿手机号码结果被他开玩笑,我整个人囧掉(我拿电话号码不是要追你啊同学,清醒点!)
不过还好大家的关系也慢慢的变融洽,甚至坐我前面那个PJ还跟我一起去洗手间囧
好奇怪……
同桌,就叫他山兄吧(和名字有关),后来给我发信息,我突然后悔给他我的手机号码
教训啊!!!!!!
反正他是那种很正规很勤奋很热心但是有一点小怪的人
不过好在有他的热情,班上的同学才能打成一片
看来,突破尴尬和陌生最好的方式就是主动

今天我做了一次好人,学院的公车比预计时间早离开,之前有老师告诉过我,其实可以跑到校园外的住宅区去搭rapidKL(碰巧这几天守卫处的系统坏掉,所以没有住户证也可以从学校直接跑过去PJS7的住宅区……)
所以今天我不例外的又决定跑出去坐公车

去之前,在学校里的等候处看见一个愁眉苦脸的帅哥
思索片刻,我上前问他要去哪里,结果他和我都是前往同样路线
结果我们就出去搭车啦
然后从英语聊成华语
他是东马人,说话竟然有台湾腔,超好笑的(据说是打工时经常接触台湾人同事的缘故)
后来才知道J同学是读酒店管理的,他今天西装笔挺的和我一起等车,整个画面很不协调
这身规定的西服让学生们很困扰,天气热的时候更难过
他还笑我是不是担心一个人搭车危险才招他一起过来
哇!!你需要这样糟蹋我的好意吗?早知道给你干等一小时哼

J同学很好心的给我一点内部消息,他告诉我只要找够4个人,每人只要12令吉就可以在酒店管理学院名下的高级餐厅吃一个full course meal
啊啊啊!!!为什么我不知道!!!谢谢你大哥!!!谢谢!!
妈蛋竟然还比其他的餐厅便宜叻还是全套西餐!!!
不知道会不会遇到J同学在实习??

哎我的新学期怎么一直都和男生混@_@
除了IR一堂课之外,其他课的战友都是男生……
倒……

为什么微积分课本那么重!还每天都要带!!摔!!!

-附:coursera的课开始了!!-
终于啊,等了很久……
可是我退出了耶鲁大学的课,因为感觉很闷,不懂是我笨还是怎么样……
现在列表里有一堂课是意大利大学教授开的,听他的口音我真是头大!!
上次也是听日本教授讲课,但口音方面感觉比这个老先生要好很多~
这个意大利大学的名字叫做Sapienza,我直译为‘聪明大学’哈哈哈!(被打
老教授的建筑史课,60%的分数来自大考(作文),突然觉得应该好好的去找资料了/.\
都是丹布朗让我对意大利建筑产生浓厚的兴趣,虽然他的故事都是(有根据的)胡扯啦

2014年1月19日星期日

淡色生活

虽然不在同样的空间里,但是一直都觉得你为我的生活涂上鲜艳的色彩。

失去了你的动态,就像不小心被泼了一桶的冷水,颜色都散开了。

颜色褪去的生活,轻飘飘的没有重量,当然阳光还是一如既往的明媚,周遭一样的欢腾,我照样嬉笑打闹。

但就是不一样了。

我终于知道,我曾经多么的围绕着你转,
你有多重要。

互相不理解带来的雨,把色彩都冲刷走了。

2014年1月16日星期四

Classes running smoothly

2014 isn't going to be a bad year.
Regardless of the seemingly negative fengshui and horoscope predictions, my life is going on perfectly well. Screw those crap la.
Philosophy class no lecturer. Dunno if she's stuck in some other country having vacation or what, but this week will end without her greeting us.
Viewed all the course outlines just before my very first class which was on yesterday, and I find myself loathing the PHIL 101 course.
I have hoped that we could learn more about contemporary philosophers or existentialism (love it), but the lecturer seems obsessed with pre-historic philosophers and Socrates.
I don't have an idea what 'pre-historic' philosophers actually mean, but it's not sounding right.
Cavemen???

IR class was better a lot more. I know that it's considered a suicidal course and a lot of students dropped the subject after the intro week (scared to hell by the term papers and the ingenious quiz format). My seniors brainwashed me to not sacrifice my grades by taking IR but I was quite determined to take it.
So in my introduction, I let Mr Tarosh knew that I took related online course before. A really dumb thing to do because I have raised his expectations.
I didn't remember anything about the course okay? Maybe realism and stuff like that, and also Woodrow Wilson with his liberalism and peace-loving plans of founding League of Nations, which U.S. refrained from joining ironically.
Haha. It will be an interesting course with LOTS OF DEBATES.
*there's a quite clever boy that kept on lamenting on the suicidal aspect of the course and I was pissed off because he wouldn't fail. The only reason he blabbered is because he's worried he couldn't get a 4.0 WTH (the girl sitting next to him was trying to use cool words such as "Japan and the shit they've done in WW2" to impress the lecturer...)

Calculus was still okay but I don't get why those science students (esp engineering student who took A levels before) cannot understand the lecturer's explanations. I was hoping for someone to lean on for the entire course but then it seems like everyone's going to drown. Fine I'll just eat myself.

Looks like I have written quite a nice piece on my courses here.
Yeah and the good news is, while taking showers this morning, I got the sudden inspiration of what to write for BOTH my applications.

What a damn nice day.

2014年1月15日星期三

The start of something... not very new

I didn't even bother to dress up properly for the start of new sem because a nearly-one-month break has washed away the pressure of dolling up before attending classes (especially in ADP).
I could say that most of them look like models, and God knows how many clothes they have in their wardrobes.

8.30am_
ADP foyer_
The normally bustling area is just like Detroit of America. My senior was sitting on the bench with his attention fully on his headphones. Wearing a cap to complete the cool look, he didn't notice me passing by. The second time I passed by, he vehemently raised his head but he still didn't notice me because of that cap.

Met a lot of people whose names I really don't remember (I'm sorry bad memory; I can remember everyone's birthdate but NOT names). It's convenient too coz they don't seem to know me.

Welcome back.

8.40am_
In front of cafeteria_
The moment I opened my laptop was the moment of revelation... that my hair was so messy.
Oh, all the feel-good aura disappeared suddenly.
To have messy hair but not noticing it?
Spotted a nice guy at the cafeteria. A part-timer.
The cycle starts again.
Good-looking guys, heavy textbooks, expensive but tasty meals, cold library.
Memories hitting me in the face.
The start of program and everything related.




GOD BLESS ME WITH NICE CLASSMATES!!!!!!

2014年1月14日星期二

Writer's block.

Everything that I have typed in Word for the college essay just doesn't look right.
It's near the middle of the month, and I really need the deadline to give me some panic feelings to force out whatever inspiration that I have.
It is only up to this point that I finally realized my life is quite boring.
My essay readers might not be very impressed with what I have to offer.
I didn't go to Africa, didn't win some international award, didn't commit myself to a certain volunteer program.
Well, maybe I could include my regrets somewhere, but I'll see whether it's appropriate first.
It's never too late to start.

If those schools were to reject me, I just need to work harder and hope to transfer to a really really good school.
Why so pessimistic LOL.

2014年1月13日星期一

The geek

I felt in awe of the variety of books in the library. If I stick to my plan of reading like, three books per week? I might still not be able to finish everything on my to-read list.
It is a day of hunting books, and I do not know if the undergraduate students have class or not because the whole campus is so quiet. Although I sometimes do hate the noisemakers in the library, but it is eerie when there is an absence of human beings.
If my books weren't due I would not be coming back to campus just to visit the library.
But I really miss my on-campus days, so I am glad that classes are starting in a few days' time.
It is only 9am when I glanced at my phone a while ago. Feeling so rich when time passes by slowly. I guess it's because I came to campus early.

When one is in the library, one might have the feeling of superiority over other friends which are loitering or having some fun outside at the same time. However, being around library too much will kind of define you as a geek, which is the opposite of cool kid.
Since when did people start to look down on the possession of knowledge and value meaningless fun more? This culture will eventually push those that are unsure enough to go to the 'cool' side.
Being a geek is fun too, if that is what you enjoy the most.
If you are truly abnormally good in academics, then nobody will look at you as a geek because you are way too brilliant at something which they can never achieve. They might revere you as a, well, prominent and honored geek? (Like the way you see the professor?)

Although being an authentic geek is not-mainstream, an authentic geek will still think that the geek population is kind of large. Maybe geeks only made up 20% of the entire population, but you still feel that they are the majority of humankind when you are in the library.
Too few geeks makes a geek feel lonely and sad, but too many geeks also makes a geek feels uncomfortable.
The geek syndrome?

I don't know what I am blabbering about, but I am definitely feeling lonely because there are too few geeks around me right now.
Sitting in the computer room, typing words in light speed under only one illuminating fluorescent light, it feels like the whole world is sleeping and I am the only one strange enough to be writing crap on my blog.
Wake up and read up, humans.

2014年1月11日星期六

烦躁

每次靠近经期的时候,心情就像打了结的毛线一样。
平时性格就很有棱角的我,这时更加像是魔鬼的化身,
粗暴的回应着这个世界。

各种烦躁啊。

烦躁也会衍生出一种动力,让人咬着牙根往前冲。
很多事情乱成一团,可是我知道最后它们总会被解决。
就像去年,感觉事情多到没法应付的时候,最终还是走过来了。
会有一种‘没法应付’的想法,可能是害怕自己没有办法把事情做到最好。
解决问题没有压力,压力在于‘完美的解决问题’。

话说,天气开始越来越热了。
真想念前阵子阴凉的气候。

烦躁的解药就是静心钻研。
远离那些老是给人压力或散发负面情绪的人事物。
这个学期,想要好好珍惜和同学们所剩无几的相处时光。
想要参加多一点活动。
想要努力的把数学考好。

在烦躁的午后里,这些想法带来一阵沁凉。

2014年1月3日星期五

虽然希望不大,但还是相当有成就感


撒花!
接下来还有两所要忙喔
观音妈庇佑啦
我没要求高端的哈佛我只求个波士顿可以吗
技术上应该办得到吧?
等过年我再好好拜您哦





写作写得精分

摔啊!
写得精神分裂了= =
尤其还有500 word字数限定我更加不淡定
从700个字改成现在的521
然后就卡住了
521我爱你啊

我真的要好好照顾自己
脸部惨不忍睹
该睡觉的时候不睡
活该毁容

新年伊始
我还是一副DS的样子
然后激素分泌紊乱在那里发情
对苍天嚷嚷那个XXX为什么不喜欢我啊为什么啊

原来生活中最好的消遣就是不断的暗恋人
然后承受着雨果说的melancholy
Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad
以悲伤为快乐
用现代词语解释就是
抖M


2014年1月1日星期三

一生一世·跨年

讀書跨年·示威跨年
通常1月1日會先等FB的新年狀態dilute了之後我才重返戰地
看見朋友們喝酒、開趴的照片我突然意識到什麼叫做宅
不過也挺好的
昨晚很疲憊想早睡
但是最終卻躺在床上把沒讀完的課外書看完
了解到原來馬來西亞政府就像墨西哥政府一樣流氓(至少兩國的原住民一樣是被嚴重邊緣化)
差別只是:明目張膽和偷偷摸摸
想起昨晚1231的TURUN和平示威
納茲裡的那副嘴臉又浮現在眼前
作為旅遊與(沒)文化部的部長
他一會說:這些人挑了不對的時間示威,企圖玷污大馬的國際形象(前提是你還有形象?)
一會兒又發作反說:他不擔心這會影響大馬的名譽,這些示威者只會讓本身看起來像猴子
納茲裡缺的不只是良心,他還缺一把鏡子。

用那一慣的不民主口氣諷刺示威者——部長表示:要示威就示威個夠,他會將這些反政府舉動包裝成旅遊產品,給外國遊客看看大馬是多麼的民主。
這難道不像小學導師在訓斥+威脅學生嗎?
民主才進化到這種程度,以致領導者誤以為自己的權利是世襲制,草民只能向權勢低頭。
首相則說RM500的援助金足夠承擔一個家庭(一年?!)的開銷。
被權利蒙蔽雙眼,果然什麼都說得出啊。
祝你們新年快樂,大馬人民會繼續抗爭下去。

新年目標
寫這個沒什麼用
有決心的話,什麼時候都能製作計劃
新年只能算是一個提醒
讓你看看你到底完成了什麼
然後內心的壞小人被好小人打死
好小人邊打邊哭:乃介個魂淡!2013都過了,看看乃都幹了什麼好事!