Rejected

This is only morning time but I received two bad news.
The first one, my scheduled interview with my lecturer for our course assignment had to be cancelled because my group partner was involved in a car accident. (luckily he was safe and sound)
So, when I went to email to check my conversation with my lecturer, and
I found this email from NW uni....
And of course I am being rejected.

To be frank, the few months I spent writing my college essays were really hectic, and tension was always my loyal friend.
I don't think I wrote competent essays, and this feeling of missing out the most decisive moment in life really sucks.
That's why I treat my current courses super-seriously because I don't want to feel like not giving 100% and blaming myself for that later.
(Well, I did put a lot of effort last year into uni application, but maybe the determination and confidence to get into uni just aren't strong enough, plus my credentials are a disadvantage, so I could brace myself for what is going to come in the next few weeks)...

Don't feel like talking about this to any friend except for my gang here in ADP
(especially when all decisions are out)
I think they will probably shrug it off, since they are all going to do transfer anyway.
I know people will give consolation such as, you've done your best, and these decisions are not the end of the world...
Yeah but in the short term rejections purely mean that you've screwed up the applications and you are the one solely responsible for that.
Recognizing this actually makes one feel better.

Think of it, if I really have to do transfer, then I only have around 10 months left to achieve improvement, especially the eloquence in English writing and the maturity of ideas.